Language/Indonesian/Culture/Indonesian-Weddings

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Indonesian Culture → Indonesian Traditions → Indonesian Weddings

Indonesia is home to a diverse range of wedding customs and traditions across its many islands. In this lesson, we will explore some of the customs and rituals associated with traditional Indonesian weddings, from the proposal through to the ceremony itself and the reception that follows.

Take a moment to explore these relevant pages as you conclude this lesson: Idul Fitri & Indonesian Batik.

Lamaran

The first stage of an Indonesian wedding customarily involves a proposal from the groom to the bride's family, known as lamaran. This is where the suitor's family formally introduces themselves to the bride's family and asks for their daughter's hand in marriage. This is usually a private and intimate occasion and involves the exchange of gifts such as jewellery, fabrics, and money as symbols of good will and commitment.

Typically, this first step is conducted by a male representative from the groom's family who will sit down with the parents or family elders of the bride and formally ask for their daughter's hand in marriage. The male representative may also bring along gifts such as betel nuts, areca nut, cigarettes, and tea to share with the bride's family.

Once the proposal is accepted, an informal engagement period may follow as the families get to know each other better.

Siraman

The next stage of an Indonesian wedding is siraman, which takes place in the days or weeks leading up to the main ceremony itself. In the past, the purpose of the siraman was to purify the bride and groom in anticipation of the wedding ceremony. These days, it is often a chance for the bride and groom to bond with their respective families.

During the siraman, the bride and groom sit in two separate places while loved ones and family members pour water over them. This is accompanied by prayers and blessings, as well as the sprinkling of flowers and perfume on the bride and groom. After this, the couple will usually change into new traditional wedding clothes and have their pre-wedding photos taken.

Akad Nikah

The main event of an Indonesian wedding is the akad nikah, which is the Islamic solemnization ceremony. This is where the bride and groom sign the wedding contract and are officially married in the eyes of God and the State. It is usually conducted by a religious official such as an Imam, Kadhi, or Ulama.

The ceremony begins with a recitation of the Quran followed by the reading of the wedding contract in front of witnesses. The groom is usually given a chance to recite his vows and offer a dowry (mahar) to the bride. The bride is then asked if she accepts the proposal, and if she does, the couple is pronounced husband and wife. The ceremony concludes with prayers and blessings from the religious official.

When the akad nikah is completed, the groom must then ask for permission from the bride's parents to bring her home as his wife. This is known as merarik and is often accompanied by more gift-giving and well-wishing.

Reception

After the akad nikah and merarik, a reception (resepsi) is usually held where the newlyweds and their families celebrate with traditional food and drinks, music, and dancing. This is known as the bersanding ceremony, where the bride and groom sit together on a decorated platform (pelaminan) while guests take turns paying their respects and offering congratulations.

It is customary for the newlyweds to cut a wedding cake, which may be fruitcake or sponge cake and is often decorated with intricate sugar flowers and figurines. The reception might also feature traditional dances, such as the tari pendet or tari jaipong, or live music from a traditional Indonesian orchestra, known as a gamelan.

Conclusion

Indonesian weddings are a rich and diverse reflection of the country's many cultures and traditions. From the proposal to the reception, each stage is marked by specific customs designed to symbolize commitment, purity, and love. Understanding these customs can provide a deeper appreciation of Indonesian culture and the many complex and beautiful rituals that make up one of the most important days in any couple's life.

Sources

Excellent job on conquering this lesson! Consider delving into these related pages: Indonesia Timeline & Indonesian Dance.

Table of Contents - Indonesian Course - 0 to A1

Course Presentation

Pronouns and Greetings

Basic Grammar

Daily Life

Sentence Structure

Indonesian Culture

Travel and Transportation

Verb Tenses

Shopping and Bargaining

Indonesian Arts

Modal Verbs

Colors and Shapes

Comparative and Superlative

Indonesian Traditions

Emergencies

Indirect and Direct Speech

Jobs and Professions

Indonesian Holidays

Videos

TRADITIONAL INDONESIAN WEDDING RECEPTION - YouTube

Attending an Indonesian Wedding Reception in Yogyakarta - YouTube

Muslim Wedding Ceremony - the Nikah ceremony of Indonesian ...

Singaporeans first time at an Indonesian wedding ! - YouTube

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