Nhờ sửa bài giúp

Văn bản từ Guillaume81 - English

  • Cover letter

  • Dear Ms. MAWSON, I am contacting you because I am deeply interested in the Brand Controller position that is published on your website.
    • I originally obtained a degree in Business Studies, and I’ve currently been working in Paris as a Commercial Controller for one year and a half for the biggest French car maker.
    • Now I would like to have a challenging work experience in the UK.
    • I chose to apply for a job in your company because Entrepreneurship is one of the values that you defend and that I need to be independent in my work.
    • I am a result oriented person, always committed to enhance working processes.
    • For example, I have been in charge of the P&L leasing retreatment for all the G7 European subsidiaries.
    • I had to reduce variances between Estimate and Actual by 20% year to date vs. the same period in 2012.
    • To do so, I have implemented controls on the figures that we obtained from different IT sources, written user guides to help CFO calculate the estimate, and developed key indicators to follow up the action results.
    • At the end of June, we have cut the variances by 27% vs. 2012.
    • Furthermore, I have worked during 3 years in a support department for the SAP applications Business Object Finance and BW which has provided me a good command of financial ERP.
    • I would like the opportunity to be interviewed in person for this position in order to discuss my qualifications further at your time and convenience.
  • Also, I would be glad to provide you with any additional information needed.
  • Thank you for your consideration. Sincerely,

Xin hãy chỉnh sửa từng câu giúp tôi! - English

  • Tiêu đề
  • câu 1
    • Dear Ms. MAWSON, I am contacting you because I am deeply interested in the Brand Controller position that is published on your website.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 1
  • câu 2
    • I originally obtained a degree in Business Studies, and I’ve currently been working in Paris as a Commercial Controller for one year and a half for the biggest French car maker.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • I originally obtained a degree in Business Studies, and I’ve am currently been working in Paris as a Commercial Controller for one year and a half for the biggest French car makand have been for the last year and a half France's largest car manufacturer.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 2ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 2
  • câu 3
  • câu 4
    • I chose to apply for a job in your company because Entrepreneurship is one of the values that you defend and that I need to be independent in my work.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • I chose to apply for a job in your company because Entrepreneurship is one of the, the ability to innovate and work independently (a values that you defend and that I need to be independent in my work), is one of my strengths.
    • I chose toam applying for a job in your company because Entrepreneurship is one of the values that you defend and that I need to be independent in my workyour key values and working independently is one of my strengths.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 4
  • câu 5
  • câu 6
    • For example, I have been in charge of the P&L leasing retreatment for all the G7 European subsidiaries.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • For example, I have been in charge of theheld a leading role in the (recent?) P&L leasinge restreatmentucturing for all the G7 European subsidiaries.
    • ForAn example, I have been in charge of of this is includes having a lead position in the P&L leasing retreatment for all the G7 European subsidiaries.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 6
  • câu 7
  • câu 8
    • To do so, I have implemented controls on the figures that we obtained from different IT sources, written user guides to help CFO calculate the estimate, and developed key indicators to follow up the action results.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • To do sothis end, I have implemented controls on the figures that we obtained from different IT sources, written user guides to help CFO calculate the estimate, and developed key indicators to follow up the action results.
    • To do so, I have implemented controls on the figures that we obtained from different IT sources, written user guides to help the CFO calculate the estimate, and developed key indicators to follow up the action results.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 8
  • câu 9
  • câu 10
    • Furthermore, I have worked during 3 years in a support department for the SAP applications Business Object Finance and BW which has provided me a good command of financial ERP.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • Furthermore, I have worked during 3 yearsthree years of experience working in a support department for the SAP applications Business Object Finance and BW which has provided me with a good command of financial ERP.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 10
  • câu 11
    • I would like the opportunity to be interviewed in person for this position in order to discuss my qualifications further at your time and convenience.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • I would like the opportunity to be interviewed in person for this position in order to discuss my qualifications further at your time and convenience.
    • I would like the opportunity to bfor a live interviewed in person for this position in order to discuss my qualifications further at your time and convenience.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 11ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 11
  • câu 12
  • câu 13