Korjaukset

Text from Guillaume81 - English

  • Cover letter

  • Dear Ms. MAWSON, I am contacting you because I am deeply interested in the Brand Controller position that is published on your website.
    • I originally obtained a degree in Business Studies, and I’ve currently been working in Paris as a Commercial Controller for one year and a half for the biggest French car maker.
    • Now I would like to have a challenging work experience in the UK.
    • I chose to apply for a job in your company because Entrepreneurship is one of the values that you defend and that I need to be independent in my work.
    • I am a result oriented person, always committed to enhance working processes.
    • For example, I have been in charge of the P&L leasing retreatment for all the G7 European subsidiaries.
    • I had to reduce variances between Estimate and Actual by 20% year to date vs. the same period in 2012.
    • To do so, I have implemented controls on the figures that we obtained from different IT sources, written user guides to help CFO calculate the estimate, and developed key indicators to follow up the action results.
    • At the end of June, we have cut the variances by 27% vs. 2012.
    • Furthermore, I have worked during 3 years in a support department for the SAP applications Business Object Finance and BW which has provided me a good command of financial ERP.
    • I would like the opportunity to be interviewed in person for this position in order to discuss my qualifications further at your time and convenience.
  • Also, I would be glad to provide you with any additional information needed.
  • Thank you for your consideration. Sincerely,

PLEASE, HELP TO CORRECT EACH SENTENCE! - English

  • Otsikko
  • Lause 1
    • Dear Ms. MAWSON, I am contacting you because I am deeply interested in the Brand Controller position that is published on your website.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 1
  • Lause 2
    • I originally obtained a degree in Business Studies, and I’ve currently been working in Paris as a Commercial Controller for one year and a half for the biggest French car maker.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • I originally obtained a degree in Business Studies, and I’ve am currently been working in Paris as a Commercial Controller for one year and a half for the biggest French car makand have been for the last year and a half France's largest car manufacturer.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 2ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 2
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    • I chose to apply for a job in your company because Entrepreneurship is one of the values that you defend and that I need to be independent in my work.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • I chose to apply for a job in your company because Entrepreneurship is one of the, the ability to innovate and work independently (a values that you defend and that I need to be independent in my work), is one of my strengths.
    • I chose toam applying for a job in your company because Entrepreneurship is one of the values that you defend and that I need to be independent in my workyour key values and working independently is one of my strengths.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 4
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    • For example, I have been in charge of the P&L leasing retreatment for all the G7 European subsidiaries.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • For example, I have been in charge of theheld a leading role in the (recent?) P&L leasinge restreatmentucturing for all the G7 European subsidiaries.
    • ForAn example, I have been in charge of of this is includes having a lead position in the P&L leasing retreatment for all the G7 European subsidiaries.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 6
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  • Lause 8
    • To do so, I have implemented controls on the figures that we obtained from different IT sources, written user guides to help CFO calculate the estimate, and developed key indicators to follow up the action results.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • To do sothis end, I have implemented controls on the figures that we obtained from different IT sources, written user guides to help CFO calculate the estimate, and developed key indicators to follow up the action results.
    • To do so, I have implemented controls on the figures that we obtained from different IT sources, written user guides to help the CFO calculate the estimate, and developed key indicators to follow up the action results.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 8
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  • Lause 10
    • Furthermore, I have worked during 3 years in a support department for the SAP applications Business Object Finance and BW which has provided me a good command of financial ERP.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • Furthermore, I have worked during 3 yearsthree years of experience working in a support department for the SAP applications Business Object Finance and BW which has provided me with a good command of financial ERP.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 10
  • Lause 11
    • I would like the opportunity to be interviewed in person for this position in order to discuss my qualifications further at your time and convenience.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • I would like the opportunity to be interviewed in person for this position in order to discuss my qualifications further at your time and convenience.
    • I would like the opportunity to bfor a live interviewed in person for this position in order to discuss my qualifications further at your time and convenience.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 11ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 11
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