Nhờ sửa bài giúp

Văn bản từ Manonsrz - English

    • Hypersexualization of children (2)

    • The real problem of this beauty contest is mother excess for ours “little princess” in order to be the most beautiful.
    • In fact, they have excess makeup and wigs.
    • They bring high-heel, reals fur coats and has diamonds.
    • The worst is some of them participate of competitive pole dance or use UV machine all the day in order to have good suntan.
    • Furthermore, they bring string for 8 years old which make for this little miss contest.
    • When a litlle girl win the contest, she bring back trophy and large sum of money that only her mother can receive That why, in France, in August, 4th 2015, the Parliament had voted that children aged less than 13 years old can’t participate of beauty contest.
    • Transgressor will have a fine of 30 000 euros and 2 years of imprisonment.
    • This measure had been taken for contribute a struggle of hypersexualization and precocious erotization.
    • In United States, there are lot of beauties contests and there is a reality TV whose name is “Toddlers and Tiaras”.
    • But this contest has worsen because of make up, spray tan and some little girls bring mammary prosthesis For illustrated, we have found Bree story.
    • She is 7 years old and like Britney she has botox injection every three months by his mother, Sharon who is beautician.
    • She wants that her daughter will became a star.
    • That why she bought a product online for fiil Bree lips.
    • Furthermore, she took tatoo lessons in order to realise permanent eyebrow.
    • The reason why Sharon intervene on her daughter is because lot of doctor have refused to intervene on Bree so Sharon take responsibility for Bree will become a celebrity II- Consequences and solutions Pedophilia Concerning consequences of this phenomenon, Again, look at this girl (3).
    • She was 10 in this photo, but her posture and expression indicate that she was at least 16 years old.
    • So, it’s a reality, and we have to be aware of this: hypersexualization cause an increase of pedophilia.
    • Indeed, they look like women, so, they are more attractives for men.
    • The article 222-24 of penal code punished pedophiles (who have sex with a child) of 20 years of imprisonment.
    • Moreover, in France, article 222-25 of penal code says that sexual majority is fifteen years old : this number indicate the moment where a person can to decide to have sexual relations.
    • So, this threshold should exist to be sexy, that is to pose for photo with makeup and anything else.
    • Ravages to children’s development : Hypersexualization of young girls is a curse for children’s candor : it impact their development.
    • Indeed, you are supposed to progress during your life, first you wear pokemon tee shirts, and THEN you wear mini-skirt and high-heel (and it’s not an obligation, if you want to be class…).
    • Opinion: To remedy of this problem, law should intervene and to forbid UV machines for children, epilation and others methods normally reserved for adults.
    • Furthermore, it’s necessary to make industries aware of their responsibility : they have to stop to produce little shoes with high-heel, little string or little dress with plunging neckline.
    • Then, parents are also a role to play : protect their children.
    • That goes without saying but, obviously, not for everyone.
    • So, parents who buy sexy clothes should be punished of a fine, or at least of a warning.
    • So, you had understood : if you ask about our opinion, sparks are going to fly!
    • To conclude, hypersexualization is a curse that affect an entire generation and indirectly futures generations.
  • So, it’s necessary to limit this now!
    • However, a case is always forgotten : little boys are also victims of hypersexualisation.
    • Indeed, some of them starting at 10 years to build themselves (5) : In front of hypersexualization of little girls, they have to respond.
    • Their picture must correspond with girl’s appearance.
    • Sadly, it’s a spiral : impossible to stop her without take drastic steps!
    • Education is a sensitive subject, it’s difficult to legislate about this.
    • Indeed, it’s a liberty for parents, the politic autority can’t intervene in an interne problematic.

Xin hãy chỉnh sửa từng câu giúp tôi! - English

  • Tiêu đề
  • câu 1
    • The real problem of this beauty contest is mother excess for ours “little princess” in order to be the most beautiful.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • The real problem of this beauty contest is mother excess for ours “little princess” in order to bees to which mothers are prepared to go in order to make their “little princesses” the most beautiful.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 1
  • câu 2
  • câu 3
  • câu 4
    • The worst is some of them participate of competitive pole dance or use UV machine all the day in order to have good suntan.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • The worst isaspect is that some of them participate ofin competitive pole danceing or use UV machine all thesunbeds all day in order to have good suntanappear tanned.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 4
  • câu 5
  • câu 6
    • When a litlle girl win the contest, she bring back trophy and large sum of money that only her mother can receive That why, in France, in August, 4th 2015, the Parliament had voted that children aged less than 13 years old can’t participate of beauty contest.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • When a litlle girl wins the contest, she bring backtakes a trophy and a large sum of money that only her mother can receivehome that she then has to give to her mother.¶¶That's why, in France, ion 4th August, 4th 2015, the Parliament had voted that children aged less thanunder 13 years old caouldn’t participate ofin beauty contests.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 6
  • câu 7
  • câu 8
    • This measure had been taken for contribute a struggle of hypersexualization and precocious erotization.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • This measure had been taken for contribute a struggle ofwas taken to help fight the hypersexualization of children and precocious erotization.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 8
  • câu 9
    • In United States, there are lot of beauties contests and there is a reality TV whose name is “Toddlers and Tiaras”.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • In the United States, there are a lot of beautiesy contests and there is a reality TV whose name isshow called “Toddlers and Tiaras”.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 9
  • câu 10
    • But this contest has worsen because of make up, spray tan and some little girls bring mammary prosthesis For illustrated, we have found Bree story.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • But this contest has worsendeteriorated because of make up, spray tan and some little girls bring mammarying breast prosthesis.¶¶ForTo illustrated, we have found this, we can look at Bree's story.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 10
  • câu 11
    • She is 7 years old and like Britney she has botox injection every three months by his mother, Sharon who is beautician.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • She is 7 years old and, like Britney she has, her mother, Sharon, who is a beautician, gives her botox injections every three months by his mother, Sharon who is beautician.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 11ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 11
  • câu 12
  • câu 13
  • câu 14
  • câu 15
    • The reason why Sharon intervene on her daughter is because lot of doctor have refused to intervene on Bree so Sharon take responsibility for Bree will become a celebrity II- Consequences and solutions Pedophilia Concerning consequences of this phenomenon, Again, look at this girl (3).
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • The reason why Sharon interveneworks on her daughter's appearance in this way is because lots of doctors have refused to intervene on Bree so Sharon take responsibility for Bree will becomdo it, therefore Sharon has had to take responsibility for it all in her mission to make Bree a celebrity.¶¶II- Consequences and solutions ¶¶Pedophilia¶¶Concerning the consequences of this phenomenon, Again, look atwe should look at the example of this girl (3).
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 15ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 15
  • câu 16
  • câu 17
    • So, it’s a reality, and we have to be aware of this: hypersexualization cause an increase of pedophilia.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • So, it’s athis is the reality, and we have to be aware of this: e fact that hypersexualization causes an increase ofin pedophilia.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 17ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 17
  • câu 18
  • câu 19
    • The article 222-24 of penal code punished pedophiles (who have sex with a child) of 20 years of imprisonment.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • The article 222-24 of the penal code punisheds pedophiles (people who have sex with a child) ofwith 20 years of imprisonment.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 19ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 19
  • câu 20
    • Moreover, in France, article 222-25 of penal code says that sexual majority is fifteen years old : this number indicate the moment where a person can to decide to have sexual relations.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • Moreover, in France, article 222-25 of the penal code says that sexual majoritythe age of sexual consent is fifteen years old : this number indicate the momenis the age at whereich a person can to decide to have sexual relations.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 20ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 20
  • câu 21
    • So, this threshold should exist to be sexy, that is to pose for photo with makeup and anything else.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • So, this threshold should exist to be sexy, that is to posealso be applied to girls posing for photos with makeup and aneverything else.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 21ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 21
  • câu 22
    • Ravages to children’s development : Hypersexualization of young girls is a curse for children’s candor : it impact their development.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • Ravages toIt's harmful to the children’'s development :¶¶H. The hypersexualization of young girls is a curse for children’s candor : i. It impacts upon their development.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 22ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 22
  • câu 23
    • Indeed, you are supposed to progress during your life, first you wear pokemon tee shirts, and THEN you wear mini-skirt and high-heel (and it’s not an obligation, if you want to be class…).
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • Indeed, you are supposed to progress during your life, f. First you wear pPokemon tee -shirts, and THEN you wear mini-skirts and high- heels (and it’which is not an obligation, if you want to be class…but a personal choice).
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 23ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 23
  • câu 24
    • Opinion: To remedy of this problem, law should intervene and to forbid UV machines for children, epilation and others methods normally reserved for adults.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • Opinion:¶¶T to remedy of this problem, the law should intervene and to forbid UV machines for childrenthe use of sunbeds, epilation and others methods normally reserved for adults.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 24ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 24
  • câu 25
    • Furthermore, it’s necessary to make industries aware of their responsibility : they have to stop to produce little shoes with high-heel, little string or little dress with plunging neckline.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • Furthermore, it’s necessary to make industries aware of their responsibility : they have to stop to produceing little shoes with high-heeled shoes, little strithongs or little dresses with plunging necklines.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 25ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 25
  • câu 26
  • câu 27
  • câu 28
  • câu 29
  • câu 30
    • To conclude, hypersexualization is a curse that affect an entire generation and indirectly futures generations.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • To conclude, the hypersexualization of children is a curse that affects an entire generation and indirectly affects futures generations.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 30ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 30
  • câu 31
  • câu 32
  • câu 33
    • Indeed, some of them starting at 10 years to build themselves (5) : In front of hypersexualization of little girls, they have to respond.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • Indeed, some of them starting at 10 years to build themselves (5) : In front of doing bodybuilding at 10 years old (5). Faced with this and the hypersexualization of little girls, theywe have to respond.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 33ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 33
  • câu 34
  • câu 35
  • câu 36
  • câu 37
    • Indeed, it’s a liberty for parents, the politic autority can’t intervene in an interne problematic.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • Indeed, it’s a liberty for parents, the politic autorityreally down to the parents. The government and police can't always intervene in an interne problematicf problems start at home. ¶
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 37ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 37