Corrections

Text from Manonsrz - English

    • Hypersexualization of children (2)

    • The real problem of this beauty contest is mother excess for ours “little princess” in order to be the most beautiful.
    • In fact, they have excess makeup and wigs.
    • They bring high-heel, reals fur coats and has diamonds.
    • The worst is some of them participate of competitive pole dance or use UV machine all the day in order to have good suntan.
    • Furthermore, they bring string for 8 years old which make for this little miss contest.
    • When a litlle girl win the contest, she bring back trophy and large sum of money that only her mother can receive That why, in France, in August, 4th 2015, the Parliament had voted that children aged less than 13 years old can’t participate of beauty contest.
    • Transgressor will have a fine of 30 000 euros and 2 years of imprisonment.
    • This measure had been taken for contribute a struggle of hypersexualization and precocious erotization.
    • In United States, there are lot of beauties contests and there is a reality TV whose name is “Toddlers and Tiaras”.
    • But this contest has worsen because of make up, spray tan and some little girls bring mammary prosthesis For illustrated, we have found Bree story.
    • She is 7 years old and like Britney she has botox injection every three months by his mother, Sharon who is beautician.
    • She wants that her daughter will became a star.
    • That why she bought a product online for fiil Bree lips.
    • Furthermore, she took tatoo lessons in order to realise permanent eyebrow.
    • The reason why Sharon intervene on her daughter is because lot of doctor have refused to intervene on Bree so Sharon take responsibility for Bree will become a celebrity II- Consequences and solutions Pedophilia Concerning consequences of this phenomenon, Again, look at this girl (3).
    • She was 10 in this photo, but her posture and expression indicate that she was at least 16 years old.
    • So, it’s a reality, and we have to be aware of this: hypersexualization cause an increase of pedophilia.
    • Indeed, they look like women, so, they are more attractives for men.
    • The article 222-24 of penal code punished pedophiles (who have sex with a child) of 20 years of imprisonment.
    • Moreover, in France, article 222-25 of penal code says that sexual majority is fifteen years old : this number indicate the moment where a person can to decide to have sexual relations.
    • So, this threshold should exist to be sexy, that is to pose for photo with makeup and anything else.
    • Ravages to children’s development : Hypersexualization of young girls is a curse for children’s candor : it impact their development.
    • Indeed, you are supposed to progress during your life, first you wear pokemon tee shirts, and THEN you wear mini-skirt and high-heel (and it’s not an obligation, if you want to be class…).
    • Opinion: To remedy of this problem, law should intervene and to forbid UV machines for children, epilation and others methods normally reserved for adults.
    • Furthermore, it’s necessary to make industries aware of their responsibility : they have to stop to produce little shoes with high-heel, little string or little dress with plunging neckline.
    • Then, parents are also a role to play : protect their children.
    • That goes without saying but, obviously, not for everyone.
    • So, parents who buy sexy clothes should be punished of a fine, or at least of a warning.
    • So, you had understood : if you ask about our opinion, sparks are going to fly!
    • To conclude, hypersexualization is a curse that affect an entire generation and indirectly futures generations.
  • So, it’s necessary to limit this now!
    • However, a case is always forgotten : little boys are also victims of hypersexualisation.
    • Indeed, some of them starting at 10 years to build themselves (5) : In front of hypersexualization of little girls, they have to respond.
    • Their picture must correspond with girl’s appearance.
    • Sadly, it’s a spiral : impossible to stop her without take drastic steps!
    • Education is a sensitive subject, it’s difficult to legislate about this.
    • Indeed, it’s a liberty for parents, the politic autority can’t intervene in an interne problematic.

PLEASE, HELP TO CORRECT EACH SENTENCE! - English

  • Title
  • Sentence 1
    • The real problem of this beauty contest is mother excess for ours “little princess” in order to be the most beautiful.
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    • The real problem of this beauty contest is mother excess for ours “little princess” in order to bees to which mothers are prepared to go in order to make their “little princesses” the most beautiful.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 1
  • Sentence 2
  • Sentence 3
  • Sentence 4
    • The worst is some of them participate of competitive pole dance or use UV machine all the day in order to have good suntan.
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    • The worst isaspect is that some of them participate ofin competitive pole danceing or use UV machine all thesunbeds all day in order to have good suntanappear tanned.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 4
  • Sentence 5
  • Sentence 6
    • When a litlle girl win the contest, she bring back trophy and large sum of money that only her mother can receive That why, in France, in August, 4th 2015, the Parliament had voted that children aged less than 13 years old can’t participate of beauty contest.
      Vote now!
    • When a litlle girl wins the contest, she bring backtakes a trophy and a large sum of money that only her mother can receivehome that she then has to give to her mother.¶¶That's why, in France, ion 4th August, 4th 2015, the Parliament had voted that children aged less thanunder 13 years old caouldn’t participate ofin beauty contests.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 6
  • Sentence 7
  • Sentence 8
    • This measure had been taken for contribute a struggle of hypersexualization and precocious erotization.
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    • This measure had been taken for contribute a struggle ofwas taken to help fight the hypersexualization of children and precocious erotization.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 8
  • Sentence 9
    • In United States, there are lot of beauties contests and there is a reality TV whose name is “Toddlers and Tiaras”.
      Vote now!
    • In the United States, there are a lot of beautiesy contests and there is a reality TV whose name isshow called “Toddlers and Tiaras”.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 9
  • Sentence 10
    • But this contest has worsen because of make up, spray tan and some little girls bring mammary prosthesis For illustrated, we have found Bree story.
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    • But this contest has worsendeteriorated because of make up, spray tan and some little girls bring mammarying breast prosthesis.¶¶ForTo illustrated, we have found this, we can look at Bree's story.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 10
  • Sentence 11
    • She is 7 years old and like Britney she has botox injection every three months by his mother, Sharon who is beautician.
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    • She is 7 years old and, like Britney she has, her mother, Sharon, who is a beautician, gives her botox injections every three months by his mother, Sharon who is beautician.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 11ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 11
  • Sentence 12
  • Sentence 13
  • Sentence 14
  • Sentence 15
    • The reason why Sharon intervene on her daughter is because lot of doctor have refused to intervene on Bree so Sharon take responsibility for Bree will become a celebrity II- Consequences and solutions Pedophilia Concerning consequences of this phenomenon, Again, look at this girl (3).
      Vote now!
    • The reason why Sharon interveneworks on her daughter's appearance in this way is because lots of doctors have refused to intervene on Bree so Sharon take responsibility for Bree will becomdo it, therefore Sharon has had to take responsibility for it all in her mission to make Bree a celebrity.¶¶II- Consequences and solutions ¶¶Pedophilia¶¶Concerning the consequences of this phenomenon, Again, look atwe should look at the example of this girl (3).
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 15ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 15
  • Sentence 16
  • Sentence 17
  • Sentence 18
  • Sentence 19
  • Sentence 20
    • Moreover, in France, article 222-25 of penal code says that sexual majority is fifteen years old : this number indicate the moment where a person can to decide to have sexual relations.
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    • Moreover, in France, article 222-25 of the penal code says that sexual majoritythe age of sexual consent is fifteen years old : this number indicate the momenis the age at whereich a person can to decide to have sexual relations.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 20ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 20
  • Sentence 21
  • Sentence 22
    • Ravages to children’s development : Hypersexualization of young girls is a curse for children’s candor : it impact their development.
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    • Ravages toIt's harmful to the children’'s development :¶¶H. The hypersexualization of young girls is a curse for children’s candor : i. It impacts upon their development.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 22ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 22
  • Sentence 23
    • Indeed, you are supposed to progress during your life, first you wear pokemon tee shirts, and THEN you wear mini-skirt and high-heel (and it’s not an obligation, if you want to be class…).
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    • Indeed, you are supposed to progress during your life, f. First you wear pPokemon tee -shirts, and THEN you wear mini-skirts and high- heels (and it’which is not an obligation, if you want to be class…but a personal choice).
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 23ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 23
  • Sentence 24
    • Opinion: To remedy of this problem, law should intervene and to forbid UV machines for children, epilation and others methods normally reserved for adults.
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    • Opinion:¶¶T to remedy of this problem, the law should intervene and to forbid UV machines for childrenthe use of sunbeds, epilation and others methods normally reserved for adults.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 24ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 24
  • Sentence 25
    • Furthermore, it’s necessary to make industries aware of their responsibility : they have to stop to produce little shoes with high-heel, little string or little dress with plunging neckline.
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    • Furthermore, it’s necessary to make industries aware of their responsibility : they have to stop to produceing little shoes with high-heeled shoes, little strithongs or little dresses with plunging necklines.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 25ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 25
  • Sentence 26
  • Sentence 27
  • Sentence 28
  • Sentence 29
  • Sentence 30
    • To conclude, hypersexualization is a curse that affect an entire generation and indirectly futures generations.
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    • To conclude, the hypersexualization of children is a curse that affects an entire generation and indirectly affects futures generations.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 30ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 30
  • Sentence 31
  • Sentence 32
  • Sentence 33
    • Indeed, some of them starting at 10 years to build themselves (5) : In front of hypersexualization of little girls, they have to respond.
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    • Indeed, some of them starting at 10 years to build themselves (5) : In front of doing bodybuilding at 10 years old (5). Faced with this and the hypersexualization of little girls, theywe have to respond.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 33ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 33
  • Sentence 34
  • Sentence 35
  • Sentence 36
  • Sentence 37
    • Indeed, it’s a liberty for parents, the politic autority can’t intervene in an interne problematic.
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    • Indeed, it’s a liberty for parents, the politic autorityreally down to the parents. The government and police can't always intervene in an interne problematicf problems start at home. ¶
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 37ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 37