Korekty

Text from Manonsrz - English

    • Hypersexualization of children (2)

    • The real problem of this beauty contest is mother excess for ours “little princess” in order to be the most beautiful.
    • In fact, they have excess makeup and wigs.
    • They bring high-heel, reals fur coats and has diamonds.
    • The worst is some of them participate of competitive pole dance or use UV machine all the day in order to have good suntan.
    • Furthermore, they bring string for 8 years old which make for this little miss contest.
    • When a litlle girl win the contest, she bring back trophy and large sum of money that only her mother can receive That why, in France, in August, 4th 2015, the Parliament had voted that children aged less than 13 years old can’t participate of beauty contest.
    • Transgressor will have a fine of 30 000 euros and 2 years of imprisonment.
    • This measure had been taken for contribute a struggle of hypersexualization and precocious erotization.
    • In United States, there are lot of beauties contests and there is a reality TV whose name is “Toddlers and Tiaras”.
    • But this contest has worsen because of make up, spray tan and some little girls bring mammary prosthesis For illustrated, we have found Bree story.
    • She is 7 years old and like Britney she has botox injection every three months by his mother, Sharon who is beautician.
    • She wants that her daughter will became a star.
    • That why she bought a product online for fiil Bree lips.
    • Furthermore, she took tatoo lessons in order to realise permanent eyebrow.
    • The reason why Sharon intervene on her daughter is because lot of doctor have refused to intervene on Bree so Sharon take responsibility for Bree will become a celebrity II- Consequences and solutions Pedophilia Concerning consequences of this phenomenon, Again, look at this girl (3).
    • She was 10 in this photo, but her posture and expression indicate that she was at least 16 years old.
    • So, it’s a reality, and we have to be aware of this: hypersexualization cause an increase of pedophilia.
    • Indeed, they look like women, so, they are more attractives for men.
    • The article 222-24 of penal code punished pedophiles (who have sex with a child) of 20 years of imprisonment.
    • Moreover, in France, article 222-25 of penal code says that sexual majority is fifteen years old : this number indicate the moment where a person can to decide to have sexual relations.
    • So, this threshold should exist to be sexy, that is to pose for photo with makeup and anything else.
    • Ravages to children’s development : Hypersexualization of young girls is a curse for children’s candor : it impact their development.
    • Indeed, you are supposed to progress during your life, first you wear pokemon tee shirts, and THEN you wear mini-skirt and high-heel (and it’s not an obligation, if you want to be class…).
    • Opinion: To remedy of this problem, law should intervene and to forbid UV machines for children, epilation and others methods normally reserved for adults.
    • Furthermore, it’s necessary to make industries aware of their responsibility : they have to stop to produce little shoes with high-heel, little string or little dress with plunging neckline.
    • Then, parents are also a role to play : protect their children.
    • That goes without saying but, obviously, not for everyone.
    • So, parents who buy sexy clothes should be punished of a fine, or at least of a warning.
    • So, you had understood : if you ask about our opinion, sparks are going to fly!
    • To conclude, hypersexualization is a curse that affect an entire generation and indirectly futures generations.
  • So, it’s necessary to limit this now!
    • However, a case is always forgotten : little boys are also victims of hypersexualisation.
    • Indeed, some of them starting at 10 years to build themselves (5) : In front of hypersexualization of little girls, they have to respond.
    • Their picture must correspond with girl’s appearance.
    • Sadly, it’s a spiral : impossible to stop her without take drastic steps!
    • Education is a sensitive subject, it’s difficult to legislate about this.
    • Indeed, it’s a liberty for parents, the politic autority can’t intervene in an interne problematic.

POMÓŻ POPRAWIĆ KAŻDE ZDANIE Z OSOBNA - English

  • Tytuł
  • Zdanie 1
    • The real problem of this beauty contest is mother excess for ours “little princess” in order to be the most beautiful.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • The real problem of this beauty contest is mother excess for ours “little princess” in order to bees to which mothers are prepared to go in order to make their “little princesses” the most beautiful.
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 1DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 1
  • Zdanie 2
  • Zdanie 3
  • Zdanie 4
    • The worst is some of them participate of competitive pole dance or use UV machine all the day in order to have good suntan.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • The worst isaspect is that some of them participate ofin competitive pole danceing or use UV machine all thesunbeds all day in order to have good suntanappear tanned.
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 4DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 4
  • Zdanie 5
  • Zdanie 6
    • When a litlle girl win the contest, she bring back trophy and large sum of money that only her mother can receive That why, in France, in August, 4th 2015, the Parliament had voted that children aged less than 13 years old can’t participate of beauty contest.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • When a litlle girl wins the contest, she bring backtakes a trophy and a large sum of money that only her mother can receivehome that she then has to give to her mother.¶¶That's why, in France, ion 4th August, 4th 2015, the Parliament had voted that children aged less thanunder 13 years old caouldn’t participate ofin beauty contests.
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 6DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 6
  • Zdanie 7
  • Zdanie 8
  • Zdanie 9
    • In United States, there are lot of beauties contests and there is a reality TV whose name is “Toddlers and Tiaras”.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • In the United States, there are a lot of beautiesy contests and there is a reality TV whose name isshow called “Toddlers and Tiaras”.
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 9DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 9
  • Zdanie 10
    • But this contest has worsen because of make up, spray tan and some little girls bring mammary prosthesis For illustrated, we have found Bree story.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • But this contest has worsendeteriorated because of make up, spray tan and some little girls bring mammarying breast prosthesis.¶¶ForTo illustrated, we have found this, we can look at Bree's story.
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 10DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 10
  • Zdanie 11
    • She is 7 years old and like Britney she has botox injection every three months by his mother, Sharon who is beautician.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • She is 7 years old and, like Britney she has, her mother, Sharon, who is a beautician, gives her botox injections every three months by his mother, Sharon who is beautician.
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 11DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 11
  • Zdanie 12
  • Zdanie 13
  • Zdanie 14
  • Zdanie 15
    • The reason why Sharon intervene on her daughter is because lot of doctor have refused to intervene on Bree so Sharon take responsibility for Bree will become a celebrity II- Consequences and solutions Pedophilia Concerning consequences of this phenomenon, Again, look at this girl (3).
      Głosuj teraz!
    • The reason why Sharon interveneworks on her daughter's appearance in this way is because lots of doctors have refused to intervene on Bree so Sharon take responsibility for Bree will becomdo it, therefore Sharon has had to take responsibility for it all in her mission to make Bree a celebrity.¶¶II- Consequences and solutions ¶¶Pedophilia¶¶Concerning the consequences of this phenomenon, Again, look atwe should look at the example of this girl (3).
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 15DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 15
  • Zdanie 16
  • Zdanie 17
  • Zdanie 18
  • Zdanie 19
  • Zdanie 20
    • Moreover, in France, article 222-25 of penal code says that sexual majority is fifteen years old : this number indicate the moment where a person can to decide to have sexual relations.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • Moreover, in France, article 222-25 of the penal code says that sexual majoritythe age of sexual consent is fifteen years old : this number indicate the momenis the age at whereich a person can to decide to have sexual relations.
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 20DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 20
  • Zdanie 21
  • Zdanie 22
    • Ravages to children’s development : Hypersexualization of young girls is a curse for children’s candor : it impact their development.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • Ravages toIt's harmful to the children’'s development :¶¶H. The hypersexualization of young girls is a curse for children’s candor : i. It impacts upon their development.
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 22DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 22
  • Zdanie 23
    • Indeed, you are supposed to progress during your life, first you wear pokemon tee shirts, and THEN you wear mini-skirt and high-heel (and it’s not an obligation, if you want to be class…).
      Głosuj teraz!
    • Indeed, you are supposed to progress during your life, f. First you wear pPokemon tee -shirts, and THEN you wear mini-skirts and high- heels (and it’which is not an obligation, if you want to be class…but a personal choice).
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 23DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 23
  • Zdanie 24
    • Opinion: To remedy of this problem, law should intervene and to forbid UV machines for children, epilation and others methods normally reserved for adults.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • Opinion:¶¶T to remedy of this problem, the law should intervene and to forbid UV machines for childrenthe use of sunbeds, epilation and others methods normally reserved for adults.
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 24DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 24
  • Zdanie 25
    • Furthermore, it’s necessary to make industries aware of their responsibility : they have to stop to produce little shoes with high-heel, little string or little dress with plunging neckline.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • Furthermore, it’s necessary to make industries aware of their responsibility : they have to stop to produceing little shoes with high-heeled shoes, little strithongs or little dresses with plunging necklines.
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 25DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 25
  • Zdanie 26
  • Zdanie 27
  • Zdanie 28
  • Zdanie 29
  • Zdanie 30
  • Zdanie 31
  • Zdanie 32
  • Zdanie 33
    • Indeed, some of them starting at 10 years to build themselves (5) : In front of hypersexualization of little girls, they have to respond.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • Indeed, some of them starting at 10 years to build themselves (5) : In front of doing bodybuilding at 10 years old (5). Faced with this and the hypersexualization of little girls, theywe have to respond.
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 33DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 33
  • Zdanie 34
  • Zdanie 35
  • Zdanie 36
  • Zdanie 37
    • Indeed, it’s a liberty for parents, the politic autority can’t intervene in an interne problematic.
      Głosuj teraz!
    • Indeed, it’s a liberty for parents, the politic autorityreally down to the parents. The government and police can't always intervene in an interne problematicf problems start at home. ¶
    • DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 37DODAJ NOWĄ KOREKTĘ! - Zdanie 37