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Arimolukina (으)로 부터 도착한메세지 - English

  • My essay about technological advance)

  • People live in the 21 century, when technological advances have been developing very fast.
    • A number of discrepancies are between adherents of progress and people who claim IT-progress can lead to dangerous consequences.
    • Is it worth to continue using products of the technological advance?
    • In my opinion, technological advance helps us a lot.
    • For example, the Internet opens the gate of the universe of knowledge for pupils and students, for adults it allows learn news about politics and economics.
    • Not only the Internet, but also other breakthroughs of the technological advances play a significant role in our life.
  • A great number of people cannot imagine their lives without PCs, microwave ovens, vacuum cleaners, cars and so on.
    • What is more, but for diverse websites we are able to make the acquaintance with people around the world.
  • Nevertheless, consider the problem from another side.
  • People have been becoming lazy and weak because of using new technologies.
    • They lost a view about the real life, being absorbed into the virtual world.
    • Moreover, we could develop our capabilities if the Internet has not been a kind of addiction.
    • I cannot agree with these points of views because I believe people are not so silly that to spend all life in front of the screens of computers.
    • To conclude, I would point out people should keep up with time, but do it wisely.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

  • 제목
  • 문장 1
  • 문장 2
    • A number of discrepancies are between adherents of progress and people who claim IT-progress can lead to dangerous consequences.
      투표하세요!
    • A number of discrepancies areexist between adherents of progress and people who claim IT-progress can lead to dangerous consequences.
      JelachJelach profile picture 댓글
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2
  • 문장 3
    • Is it worth to continue using products of the technological advance?
      투표하세요!
    • Is it worth it to continue using products of thtechnologically advanced products?¶or¶Is it worth continuing to use technologically advanced products?
      JelachJelach profile picture 댓글
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3
  • 문장 4
  • 문장 5
    • For example, the Internet opens the gate of the universe of knowledge for pupils and students, for adults it allows learn news about politics and economics.
      투표하세요!
    • For example, the Internet opens the gate tof the universe of knowledge for pupils and students, for adults it allows and it allows adults to learn news about politics and economics.
      JelachJelach profile picture 댓글
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • Not only the Internet, but also other breakthroughs of the technological advances play a significant role in our life.
      투표하세요!
    • Not only the Internet, but also other breakthroughs of the technological advancesbreakthroughs play a significant role in our lifeves.
      JelachJelach profile picture 댓글
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
    • A great number of people cannot imagine their lives without PCs, microwave ovens, vacuum cleaners, cars and so on.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • What is more, but for diverse websites we are able to make the acquaintance with people around the world.
      투표하세요!
    • What is more, but fordue to diverse websites we are able to make the acquaintance witheet people around the world.
      JelachJelach profile picture 댓글
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8
  • 문장 9
  • 문장 10
  • 문장 11
  • 문장 12
  • 문장 13
    • I cannot agree with these points of views because I believe people are not so silly that to spend all life in front of the screens of computers.
      투표하세요!
    • I cannot agree with these points of views because I believe people are not so silly thatenough to spend all life in front of the screens ofof their lives in front of a computers screen.
      JelachJelach profile picture 댓글
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 13ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 13
  • 문장 14