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  • Essay

  • Should young people be interested only in money?
  • Certainly, there are various opinions over this subject.
  • As far as I am concerned, I believe that one shouldn’t see money as the most important value in the life.
    • In the first place, being wealthy does not guaranty you being happy.
    • Thus, those, who are rich enough, often say that they suffer from it, because for them it is some harder to find true friends and a spouse, as more often than not others look at them only as at another source of money.
  • Moreover, it is not a secret that money cannot provide you with health, so I assume that there are more significant aims for people to aspire, such as sports, self-development and so forth.
  • On the other hand, there is another belief.
    • You may think that if young people attempt getting money, they will be more likely to become self-confident, independent and, obviously, rich.
    • As for me, I cannot agree with this statement since I am certain that if young generation starts pursuing gaining more, they may forget what they do have – the family, friends and simple things to be pleased for; and all this will not only never bring you happiness, but also can make you lose it.
    • So, according to all the arguments above, it becomes clear that young people should never choose money as the main goal in their life.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

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  • 문장 1
  • 문장 2
  • 문장 3
  • 문장 4
  • 문장 5
    • Thus, those, who are rich enough, often say that they suffer from it, because for them it is some harder to find true friends and a spouse, as more often than not others look at them only as at another source of money.
      투표하세요!
    • Thus, those, who are rich enough, often say that they suffer from it, because for them it is some harder to find true friends and a spouse, as more often than not others look at them only as at another source of money.
      MichaeldnMichaeldn profile picture 댓글 1
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • Moreover, it is not a secret that money cannot provide you with health, so I assume that there are more significant aims for people to aspire, such as sports, self-development and so forth.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • You may think that if young people attempt getting money, they will be more likely to become self-confident, independent and, obviously, rich.
      투표하세요!
    • You may think that if young people attempt to getting money, they will be more likely to become self-confident, independent and, obviously, rich.
      MichaeldnMichaeldn profile picture 댓글 1
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • As for me, I cannot agree with this statement since I am certain that if young generation starts pursuing gaining more, they may forget what they do have – the family, friends and simple things to be pleased for; and all this will not only never bring you happiness, but also can make you lose it.
      투표하세요!
    • As for me, I cannot agree with this statement since I am certain that if the young generation starts pursuing to gaining more, they may forget what they do have – the family, friends and simple things to be pleased for; and all this will not only never bring you happisadness, but can also can make you lose it.
      MichaeldnMichaeldn profile picture 댓글 1
      투표하세요!
    • As for me, I cannot agree with this statement since I am certain that if young generation starts pursuing to gaining more money, they may forget what they do have – the family, friends and simple things to be pleased for; and all this willtheir happiness. Keeping focus on gaining money not only never bring you happisadness, but also can make you lose ithe most important thing in your life.
      Ammyjzy03Ammyjzy03 profile picture 댓글
      0% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
    • So, according to all the arguments above, it becomes clear that young people should never choose money as the main goal in their life.
      투표하세요!
    • So, To sum up,according to all the arguments above, it becomes clear that young people should nevern't choose money as the main goal in their life. ¶
      Ammyjzy03Ammyjzy03 profile picture 댓글
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10