Nhờ sửa bài giúp

Văn bản từ dorianzeta - English

  • Motivation letter

    • Dear Sir/Madam, First and foremost, I would like to thank you for taking the time to review my application for a Student Visa.
  • I am a person who loves electronic technology.
    • I am a technical professional in Telecommunications and I have worked in field of electronic security systems for approximately 11 years.
    • In the last 9 years I have been in charge of the technical support for electronic security system integration projects, which has allowed me to gain experience in all the phases involved in the design, planning, installation, maintenance and repairing of different electronic systems.
    • Due to this evolution in my career, I have decided to invest more time in Proguard Peru SAC, the company I founded in 2021 (I included the company registration letter with my application).
    • The aim is to start offering different services in electronic field as a second income stream.
    • I do not however have the technical knowledge that is essential skill for successfully running the added services that I want to offer to the customers.
  • For this reason, I would like to expand my knowledge and therefore my professional growth by studying the Electronics Repair Technology program offered by the VCC (https://www.vcc.ca/international/programs/program-areas/technology/electronics-repair-technology/).
  • This is a study program that will help me to develop my technical skills to operate, diagnose and service the latest electronic devices in the consumer electronics repair industry.
  • That will allow me to provide added services at a technical level in my company.
  • I reiterate that my goal is not to abandon my original profession, but to complement it with increased knowledge that allows me to create a professional environment in my company.
    • I have chosen to study at VCC because it offers the program I am looking for, with a duration of two years, which seems to me an appropriate time to obtain the results I seek and to continue working on my personal projects very soon.
    • On the other hand, I chose Canada to study for the following reasons: 1.
    • Canada is a country worldwide known for the quality of its schools and its educational level. 2.
    • Canada is much cheaper than studying in other countries with a good educational level like United States, Germany of Japan. 3.
    • I have read about Canadian culture, and I know that they are highly educated, respectful, responsible, disciplined people.
    • I would like to have the opportunity to learn and adopt the best of their values. 4.
    • Canada is a great country for learning from the cultural diversity that it offers and discovering new ways of thinking while improving my communication skills in English which I would be experiencing in real-life situations, and this would be helpful not only because I realize that I could contribute more to my own company which would allow me to continue growing professionally if I carry out specific technical studies. 5.
    • Another important benefit of studying in Canada is that my daughter can also apply for a study permit and my wife can apply for an open work permit.
  • She is aware that this is an amazing but also challenging experience for me.
  • Therefore, she is willing to help me to continue growing professionally as I had supported her before, and she will take care of our daughter.
    • In this sense, if approved, while I improve my professional career, my wife could add to her professional background, with experience in one or more Canadian companies; my daughter, on the other hand, will be able to attend part of their education in a public institution in British Columbia where she will also develop her skills in the English language.
  • After finishing my studies, I will return to Peru to keep working in my current job in the company CALE CONTRATISTAS SAC which provides me with a stable income (I included the employment certificate and indefinite employment contract with my application) and also to put into practice what I will learn in Canada.
  • In addition, I will continue growing my business with a much better prepared profile.
    • To have already paid Vancouver Community College’s tuition deposit of CAD 11,000.
  • You can verify this transaction in the invoice I have attached with my application.
    • I currently have PEN 122,429 (CAD 44,331) in my Peruvian bank account to cover the rest of living and study expenses.
  • I have steadily built up these savings from the monthly salary deposits I have received from my current job at CALE CONTRATISTAS SAC and my previous jobs.
    • With my application I included my last three pay stubs as proof of evidence.
  • I do have more than enough money for the first year as it is required.
  • Since the exchange rate of my bank account is in Peruvian soles, I made the conversion from PEN to CAD consulting the CAD exchange rate in the official website of bank of Canada: https://www.bankofcanada.ca/rates/exchange/currency-converter/?lookupPage=lookup_currency_converter_2017.php&startRange=2017-01-01&rangeType=range&selectToFrom=from&convert=122%2C429.00&seriesTo%5B%5

Xin hãy chỉnh sửa từng câu giúp tôi! - English

  • Tiêu đề
  • câu 1
    • Dear Sir/Madam, First and foremost, I would like to thank you for taking the time to review my application for a Student Visa.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • Dear Sir/Madam,

      First and foremost, I would like to thank you for taking the time to review my application for a
      Sstudent Vvisa.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 1
  • câu 2
  • câu 3
    • I am a technical professional in Telecommunications and I have worked in field of electronic security systems for approximately 11 years.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • I am a technical professional in Ttelecommunications and I have worked in field of electronic security systems for approximately 11 years.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 3
  • câu 4
    • In the last 9 years I have been in charge of the technical support for electronic security system integration projects, which has allowed me to gain experience in all the phases involved in the design, planning, installation, maintenance and repairing of different electronic systems.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • InDuring the last 9 years I have been in charge of the technical support for electronic security system integration projects, which has allowed me to gain experience in all the phases involved in the design, planning, installation, maintenance and repairing of different electronic systems.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 4
  • câu 5
    • Due to this evolution in my career, I have decided to invest more time in Proguard Peru SAC, the company I founded in 2021 (I included the company registration letter with my application).
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • Due to this evolution inof my career, I have decided to invest more time in Proguard Peru SAC, the company I founded in 2021 (I have included the company registration letter with my application).
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 5
  • câu 6
  • câu 7
    • I do not however have the technical knowledge that is essential skill for successfully running the added services that I want to offer to the customers.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • I do not, however, have the technical knowledge that is an essential skill for successfully running the added services that I want to offer to the customers.
    • I do not however have the technical knowledge that is essential skill for successfully running the added services that I want to offer to the customers.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 7
  • câu 8
    • For this reason, I would like to expand my knowledge and therefore my professional growth by studying the Electronics Repair Technology program offered by the VCC (https://www.vcc.ca/international/programs/program-areas/technology/electronics-repair-technology/).
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 8
  • câu 9
    • This is a study program that will help me to develop my technical skills to operate, diagnose and service the latest electronic devices in the consumer electronics repair industry.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 9
  • câu 10
  • câu 11
    • I reiterate that my goal is not to abandon my original profession, but to complement it with increased knowledge that allows me to create a professional environment in my company.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 11ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 11
  • câu 12
    • I have chosen to study at VCC because it offers the program I am looking for, with a duration of two years, which seems to me an appropriate time to obtain the results I seek and to continue working on my personal projects very soon.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • I have chosen to study at VCC because it offers the program I am looking for, with a duration of two years, which seems to me an appropriate time to obtain the results I seek and to continue working on my personal projects very soonin the short term.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 12ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 12
  • câu 13
  • câu 14
  • câu 15
    • Canada is much cheaper than studying in other countries with a good educational level like United States, Germany of Japan. 3.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • Canada is much cheaper than studying in other countries with a good educational level like the United States, Germany ofand Japan. 3.
    • Canada is much cheaper than studying2. It is less expensive studying in Canada than in other countries with a good educational level liksuch as the United States, Germany ofr Japan. 3.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 15ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 15
  • câu 16
    • I have read about Canadian culture, and I know that they are highly educated, respectful, responsible, disciplined people.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • I have read about Canadian culture, and I know that they people are highly educated, respectful, responsible, and disciplined people.
    • 3. I have read about Canadian culture, and. From this I know that theyCanadians are highly educated, respectful, responsible, disciplined people.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 16ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 16
  • câu 17
  • câu 18
    • Canada is a great country for learning from the cultural diversity that it offers and discovering new ways of thinking while improving my communication skills in English which I would be experiencing in real-life situations, and this would be helpful not only because I realize that I could contribute more to my own company which would allow me to continue growing professionally if I carry out specific technical studies. 5.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • Canada is a great country for learning from the cultural diversity that it offers and discovering new ways of thinking while improving my communication skills in English which I would be experiencing in real-life situations, and t. This would be helpful not only because I realize that I could contribute more to my own company which, but also would allow me to continue growing professionally if I carry out specific technical studies. 5.
    • 4. Canada is a great country for learning from the cultural diversity that it offers and. I will be discovering new ways of thinking while improving my communication skills in English which I wouldill be experiencing in real-life situations, and t. This would be helpful not only because I would realize that I could contribute more to my own company which would allow me to continue growing professionally if I carry out specific technical studies. 5.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 18ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 18
  • câu 19
    • Another important benefit of studying in Canada is that my daughter can also apply for a study permit and my wife can apply for an open work permit.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • 5. Another important benefit of studying in Canada is that my daughter canould also apply for a study permit and my wife canould apply for an open work permit.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 19ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 19
  • câu 20
  • câu 21
    • Therefore, she is willing to help me to continue growing professionally as I had supported her before, and she will take care of our daughter.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 21ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 21
  • câu 22
    • In this sense, if approved, while I improve my professional career, my wife could add to her professional background, with experience in one or more Canadian companies; my daughter, on the other hand, will be able to attend part of their education in a public institution in British Columbia where she will also develop her skills in the English language.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • In this sense, if approved, while I improve my professional career, my wife could add to her professional background, with experience in one or more Canadian companies; m. My daughter, on the other hand, will be able to attend part of their education in a public institution in British Columbia where she will also develop her skills in the English language.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 22ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 22
  • câu 23
    • After finishing my studies, I will return to Peru to keep working in my current job in the company CALE CONTRATISTAS SAC which provides me with a stable income (I included the employment certificate and indefinite employment contract with my application) and also to put into practice what I will learn in Canada.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 23ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 23
  • câu 24
  • câu 25
  • câu 26
  • câu 27
  • câu 28
    • I have steadily built up these savings from the monthly salary deposits I have received from my current job at CALE CONTRATISTAS SAC and my previous jobs.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 28ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 28
  • câu 29
  • câu 30
  • câu 31
    • Since the exchange rate of my bank account is in Peruvian soles, I made the conversion from PEN to CAD consulting the CAD exchange rate in the official website of bank of Canada: https://www.bankofcanada.ca/rates/exchange/currency-converter/?lookupPage=lookup_currency_converter_2017.php&startRange=2017-01-01&rangeType=range&selectToFrom=from&convert=122%2C429.00&seriesTo%5B%5
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 31ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 31