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thaochi01 (으)로 부터 도착한메세지 - English

    • Talking about passive smoking

    • Everyone know smoking is bad for health, but many people continue to smoke.
    • They think that it’s their choice for their self, it doesn’t affect to anyone else. It isn’t?
    • I can confirm you “That’s wrong”.
    • Now I want to talk about one of many causes and I think it’s a main cause too.
    • It’s “Passive smoking”.
    • In definition, this is a form of inhale the smoke when you don’t smoke directly.
    • Many researches prove that this form have same affects than the direct smoking.
    • In the smoke, it has 4000 chemical substances including 40 that are arranged as type 1 of carcinogen by International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC).
    • That means these substances with a small quantity can also made cancer and many diseases about nerves, heart, endocrine, memory etc. Further the smoke can exist in air more than two hours even you don’t see or smell it.
    • It causes to pollute the environment.
    • WHO announced: “Each one hour, a person who lives in the room where have a chain-smoker, can have a cancer a hundred times more than he lives 20 years in the room where have arsenic pollution.
    • So, smoking is to kill yourself and people around you.
    • That make someone to be sick and die in injustice.
    • Quit smoking before it’s too late for you and for else.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

  • 제목
  • 문장 1
  • 문장 2
    • They think that it’s their choice for their self, it doesn’t affect to anyone else. It isn’t?
      투표하세요!
    • They think that it’s their choice for their self, and that it doesn’t affect to anyone else. It isn’t?.
    • They think that it’s their own choice for their self,and it doesn’t affect to anyone else. It isn’, doesn't it?
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • They think that it’s their own choice for their self,and that it doesn’t affect to anyone else. It isn’t?.
      투표하세요!
    • They think that it is their choice for their selfmselves, it doesn’t affect to anyone else. It isn’t?
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2
  • 문장 3
  • 문장 4
  • 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • In definition, this is a form of inhale the smoke when you don’t smoke directly.
      투표하세요!
    • InBy definition, this is a form of inhale theinhaling smoke when you don’t smoke directlyyouself.
    • InBy definition, this is a form ofyou are inhale theing smoke when you don’t smoke directlyithout yourself smoking.
      투표하세요!
    • InBy definition, this is a form of inhale the smoke when you don’t smoke directlysmoke inhalation when you are not the one smoking.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • In the smoke, it has 4000 chemical substances including 40 that are arranged as type 1 of carcinogen by International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC).
      투표하세요!
    • In the smoke, it has there are 4000 chemical substances including 40 that are arranged as type 1 of carcinogen bys according to the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC).
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • That means these substances with a small quantity can also made cancer and many diseases about nerves, heart, endocrine, memory etc. Further the smoke can exist in air more than two hours even you don’t see or smell it.
      투표하세요!
    • That means that these substances within a small quantity can also madcause cancer and many diseases about nervesof the nervous system, heart, endocrine, memory etc.¶
      Further the smoke can exist in air more than two hours even you
      docan’t see or smell it.
    • That means these substances with, even in a small quantity, can also madcause cancer and many diseases aboutwhich may affect the nerves, heart, endocrine system, memory, etc.¶
      Further
      more, the smoke can exist inlinger in the air for more than two hours, even if you don’tcan no longer see or smell it.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
  • 문장 11
    • WHO announced: “Each one hour, a person who lives in the room where have a chain-smoker, can have a cancer a hundred times more than he lives 20 years in the room where have arsenic pollution.
      투표하세요!
    • WHO has announced: "Each one hour, a person who lives in the room where havethere is a chain- smoker, can haves a cancer a hundred times more100 times greater risk to develop cancer than if he livesd 20 years in thea room where haveith arsenic pollution.
    • The WHO announced: “Each one hour, a person who lives in the room where have a chain-smoker, can have a cancer a hundred times moreshares a room with a chain-smoker, has a hundred times more risk if developing cancer than if he livesd 20 years in thea room where haveith arsenic pollution.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 11ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 11
  • 문장 12
  • 문장 13
  • 문장 14