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poliglotaD (으)로 부터 도착한메세지 - English

  • My first personal statement

  • I am a young man that has always been fascinated by how Nature works, and considering that we , as human beings, are part of Nature too, human biology drives absolutely my attention as a field of study.
  • That’s why I felt very fortunate when I came across your advertisement and I found out that you offer a master in Human Developmental Biology.
  • Considering that there are very few colleges that offer such studies and that yours has always been recognized as a prestigious center I would be really delighted to study at Newmore College.
  • Given that I have always academically succeed in spite of my family’s limited economical resources, I would like to keep going like that and thus I would like to apply for your financial aid.
  • There shall be no problems in taking advantage of your economical help as it will help me making the most out of your classes and practicum program.
  • Furthermore, I feel excited about being able to use your facilities as I haven’t got yet the opportunity to use such modern ones.
  • I am also applying for a place at this course due to the well-known relationship that the college has with some very important clinics, for instance the National Embryologic Research Institute and the European Assisted Reproduction Center.
  • You offer to all the admitted students in the course the chance to start as an apprentice at this places once they finish the theorical lessons, which I think that’s a once in a life opportunity to start a bright career.
  • I would very much thank you if you considered the possibility of admitting me as a student with one of the scholarship you offer in the course aforementioned.
  • I hope you take into account both my academic background that I attached to this personal statement and my enthusiasm to start right off studying and working as an embryologist thanks to your college.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

  • 제목
  • 문장 1
    • I am a young man that has always been fascinated by how Nature works, and considering that we , as human beings, are part of Nature too, human biology drives absolutely my attention as a field of study.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1
  • 문장 2
    • That’s why I felt very fortunate when I came across your advertisement and I found out that you offer a master in Human Developmental Biology.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2
  • 문장 3
    • Considering that there are very few colleges that offer such studies and that yours has always been recognized as a prestigious center I would be really delighted to study at Newmore College.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3
  • 문장 4
    • Given that I have always academically succeed in spite of my family’s limited economical resources, I would like to keep going like that and thus I would like to apply for your financial aid.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4
  • 문장 5
    • There shall be no problems in taking advantage of your economical help as it will help me making the most out of your classes and practicum program.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • Furthermore, I feel excited about being able to use your facilities as I haven’t got yet the opportunity to use such modern ones.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
    • I am also applying for a place at this course due to the well-known relationship that the college has with some very important clinics, for instance the National Embryologic Research Institute and the European Assisted Reproduction Center.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • You offer to all the admitted students in the course the chance to start as an apprentice at this places once they finish the theorical lessons, which I think that’s a once in a life opportunity to start a bright career.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • I would very much thank you if you considered the possibility of admitting me as a student with one of the scholarship you offer in the course aforementioned.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
    • I hope you take into account both my academic background that I attached to this personal statement and my enthusiasm to start right off studying and working as an embryologist thanks to your college.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10