Korjaukset

Text from Dmytro-Sytro - English

  • OBSESSION OR HAPPINESS: HOW CHOCOLATE INFLUENCES OUR LIFE

  • Specific Purpose: To explain to my audience how consumption of chocolate influences their behavior, mood, wishes or even their health.
  • Central Idea: The influence of chocolate is similar to the influence of some light drugs on a person, and that’s why we can’t rid of our obsession of chocolate. I.
  • Adam Drewnowski, a scientist from the University of Michigan, claimed that chocolate is like a light drug, such as marijuana.
  • According to his research, chocolate contains many opioids – the matters are found in opium, that produce an euphoria (a feeling of well-being). II.
  • This could explain the whole world obsession of chocolate.
  • According to “Confectionery & Biscuit Processing”, the consumption of chocolate in Switzerland – the top chocolate consuming country of 2012 – is 11 kg per capite in a year, which is equal to 659.3 billions dollars of USA.
  • Ukraine is the last country in the list of Top-20 Consuming Chocolate Countries, and its results are 4,2 kg per capite and 165 billions dollars.
  • You could say that chocolate is very tasteful or that it is just a chocolate fashion.
  • If you eat a one or two bars of chocolate per 3 months, you have nothing to worry about.
  • But chocolate contains a lot of light drugs, and that’s why we can’t help eating it.
  • And that’s why we forget about the risks of overweight and bad mood which cause our chocolate obsession.
  • (Transition: Now let’s look at the ways chocolate influences our health and behavior.) BODY I.
  • Chocolate make us dependent on because of its chemical composition.
  • Theoretically, any tasteful product stimulates the pleasure center in our brains.
  • Pleasure center – is a number of brain regions involved in pleasure we get from different activities (eating food, sex and so on).
  • If we are fond of some food, for example, strawberry, spinach or any other healthy products, we stimulate the pleasure center and, as a result, we feel happiness, joy, etc. But the power of influence of chocolate and healthy food are different.
  • Chocolate consists of compound number of ingredients, which affect our pleasure center like some light drugs.
  • That’s why a lot of people are obsessed of chocolate and can’t refuse it even if they have to.
  • When a group of scientists from the University of Michigan gave to respondents Naloxone – a pure opioid antagonist – and then offered to respondents chocolate bars and sticks, the scientists saw that respondents ate 50% less of “Snickers” and “M&M’s” and 90% less of chocolate cookie “Oreo”.
  • As we see, chocolate is an addictive product, which has the power of influence bigger than one of healthy products, and which is equal to effect of light drugs.
  • (Transition: What does all this chemical staff means?
  • Now I’ll tell you about some risks of chocolate to you.) II.
  • Addiction to chocolate could be one more reason of overweight Of course, of course, we hear about this over and over – you say.
  • Most people know, that chocolate is a very high-calorized product.
  • But we do not know that we can’t refuse it not because of lack of willpower, but because it’s hard to confront our obsession.
  • Chocolate contains caffeine and dopamine – the chemicals, which cause addiction and which stimulates pleasure center in our brain, and that’s why the one who consumes a lot of chocolate for some period of time is addicted.
  • I do not like a person who is overweigh, but I’m interested in all this chocolate staff because I was addicted by my own.
  • I bought one bar of chocolate every day and I can’t stop though chocolate took my money and put me on weight.
  • And I can’t say that I bought it because of hunger; I bought my everyday bar of chocolate even after hearty meal.
  • (Transition: Now you know about influence of chocolate on our health.
  • Now I’ll pay attention to our mental health.) III.
  • Obsession of chocolate means bad mood It’s paradoxical, that chocolate which contains dopamine and caffeine could cause bad mood.
  • But we remember that chocolate influences a person like a light drug.
  • That’s why when we are addicted to chocolate, we feel at first happiness because of new bar of chocolate and then – despair.
  • A research by neuroscientists from University of Michigan, which was made on rets, declares that chocolate creates a vicious circle of buying the bar of chocolate, joy and despair.
  • Neal Barnard, a president of the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine (USA), also writes about mixed feeling of joy and despair he noted at his patients.
  • He says that chocolateholics are sad because they feel guilty, but they can’t resist their obsession.
  • (Transition: As we see, because of mix of chemicals which a single bar of chocolate includes, we have not only joy, but also some troubles.) CONCLUSION I.
  • I hope now you know not only about good, shared by mass-media and advertisement aspects of chocolate, but also are informed with its negative side.
  • Chocolate is not only a delicious food, but also a thing that could cause addiction and

PLEASE, HELP TO CORRECT EACH SENTENCE! - English

  • Otsikko
  • Lause 1
    • Specific Purpose: To explain to my audience how consumption of chocolate influences their behavior, mood, wishes or even their health.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 1
  • Lause 2
    • Central Idea: The influence of chocolate is similar to the influence of some light drugs on a person, and that’s why we can’t rid of our obsession of chocolate. I.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 2ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 2
  • Lause 3
    • Adam Drewnowski, a scientist from the University of Michigan, claimed that chocolate is like a light drug, such as marijuana.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 3
  • Lause 4
    • According to his research, chocolate contains many opioids – the matters are found in opium, that produce an euphoria (a feeling of well-being). II.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 4
  • Lause 5
  • Lause 6
    • According to “Confectionery & Biscuit Processing”, the consumption of chocolate in Switzerland – the top chocolate consuming country of 2012 – is 11 kg per capite in a year, which is equal to 659.3 billions dollars of USA.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 6
  • Lause 7
    • Ukraine is the last country in the list of Top-20 Consuming Chocolate Countries, and its results are 4,2 kg per capite and 165 billions dollars.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 7
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  • Lause 15
    • Pleasure center – is a number of brain regions involved in pleasure we get from different activities (eating food, sex and so on).
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 15ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 15
  • Lause 16
    • If we are fond of some food, for example, strawberry, spinach or any other healthy products, we stimulate the pleasure center and, as a result, we feel happiness, joy, etc. But the power of influence of chocolate and healthy food are different.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 16ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 16
  • Lause 17
  • Lause 18
  • Lause 19
    • When a group of scientists from the University of Michigan gave to respondents Naloxone – a pure opioid antagonist – and then offered to respondents chocolate bars and sticks, the scientists saw that respondents ate 50% less of “Snickers” and “M&M’s” and 90% less of chocolate cookie “Oreo”.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 19ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 19
  • Lause 20
    • As we see, chocolate is an addictive product, which has the power of influence bigger than one of healthy products, and which is equal to effect of light drugs.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 20ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 20
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  • Lause 23
    • Addiction to chocolate could be one more reason of overweight Of course, of course, we hear about this over and over – you say.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 23ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 23
  • Lause 24
  • Lause 25
    • But we do not know that we can’t refuse it not because of lack of willpower, but because it’s hard to confront our obsession.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 25ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 25
  • Lause 26
    • Chocolate contains caffeine and dopamine – the chemicals, which cause addiction and which stimulates pleasure center in our brain, and that’s why the one who consumes a lot of chocolate for some period of time is addicted.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 26ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 26
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    • I do not like a person who is overweigh, but I’m interested in all this chocolate staff because I was addicted by my own.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 27ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 27
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  • Lause 29
    • And I can’t say that I bought it because of hunger; I bought my everyday bar of chocolate even after hearty meal.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 29ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 29
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  • Lause 32
    • Obsession of chocolate means bad mood It’s paradoxical, that chocolate which contains dopamine and caffeine could cause bad mood.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 32ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 32
  • Lause 33
  • Lause 34
    • That’s why when we are addicted to chocolate, we feel at first happiness because of new bar of chocolate and then – despair.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 34ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 34
  • Lause 35
    • A research by neuroscientists from University of Michigan, which was made on rets, declares that chocolate creates a vicious circle of buying the bar of chocolate, joy and despair.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 35ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 35
  • Lause 36
    • Neal Barnard, a president of the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine (USA), also writes about mixed feeling of joy and despair he noted at his patients.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 36ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 36
  • Lause 37
  • Lause 38
    • (Transition: As we see, because of mix of chemicals which a single bar of chocolate includes, we have not only joy, but also some troubles.) CONCLUSION I.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 38ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 38
  • Lause 39
    • I hope now you know not only about good, shared by mass-media and advertisement aspects of chocolate, but also are informed with its negative side.
      Äänestä nyt!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 39ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Lause 39
  • Lause 40