Nhờ sửa bài giúp

Văn bản từ Cristian94 - English

  • A Veil Left in a Frozen Plain- Part Two

  • Once again I found myself trying to improve my English writing skill by using Robert E. Howard’s work.
  • I just want to make clear that the following is just an exercise in which I took Howard’s tales and narrated them from my perspective, inventing very little .
    • I would really love to receive any feedback you can give me, guys  thanks for reading my exercise A Veil Left in a Frozen Plain-Part Two “Tell me your name outlander, so that once I’ll feast and drink from your pretty skull my brothers may know who’s been the last one to fall under Heimdul’s long axe!” And a very unusual, amused laugh followed those arrogant words of mockery.
    • “Not in the safe warm of your house but in the unpleasant hall of Valhalla will you tell your brothers that you’ve met Conan of Cimmeria!” Thus answered the indomitable barbarian and with an inhuman speed he stepped forward in Heimdul’s direction like a wilde wolf hunting in the woods, sword in hand.
    • There was a swift clangour of sword and axe which then died away with the same velocity of a kiss made by no soft and tasty lips, but of steel and flesh.
    • With a deaf sound and a lifeless expression on his face, Heimdul fell down before Conan’s feet, for he had been ran through by the aquilonian broadsword.
    • A snarly expression was drawn on Conan’s face, that sort of excitement which comes from the physical agony of the battle.
    • Extracting his broadsword from the dead body, he decapitated Heimdul getting ditch of his head on the ground.
    • Thus he humiliated Heimdul’s corpse.
    • Conan glanced at his sword which was full of blood gutters.
    • Now that another colossus had died and other blood was lust on the purity of the snow, Conan said:” Northern bastard!” Faintly falling on his knees.
    • The sun was now shining and gasping for his wounds he looked at the black crows while they were eagerly feasting upon a banquet made of corpses.
    • The snow was cold like always.
    • Absently leaving his broadsword on the ground he laid on his back: for all the day he had been harvesting lives and now felt like life was running away from him, slowly abandoning him like a cruel and lascivious woman who no longer corresponded his love.
  • Conan feared women more than he feared death itself.
    • In his life he had held too many women between his arms, but now the memory of a carnal coitus made him feeling even more miserable and pitiful.
    • The frosty touch of the snow on his right ear was annoying, he had rather preferred a woman’s caress.
    • Turning his head on the right he saw something weird, bloody weird, coming in his direction.
    • A beautiful woman sensuously irresistible with long red locks and a slender ivory body was approaching him: an impetuous stunning dawn who walked slowly on the snow, naked as the day save for a light veil of gossamer which descended from her shoulders till her knees.
    • As she walked her bare feet seemed not to live any imprint on the ground they spurned.
    • That frozen flame of beauty got nearer and nearer till Conan could see her laughing with a silvery expression.
    • That laugh showed a glorious compound of colours: the deep red of her lips, the hypnotic green of her eyes and the half pale colour of her skin.
    • Conan got up now reinvigorated...

Xin hãy chỉnh sửa từng câu giúp tôi! - English

  • Tiêu đề
  • câu 1
    • Once again I found myself trying to improve my English writing skill by using Robert E. Howard’s work.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 1
  • câu 2
    • I just want to make clear that the following is just an exercise in which I took Howard’s tales and narrated them from my perspective, inventing very little .
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 2ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 2
  • câu 3
    • I would really love to receive any feedback you can give me, guys  thanks for reading my exercise A Veil Left in a Frozen Plain-Part Two “Tell me your name outlander, so that once I’ll feast and drink from your pretty skull my brothers may know who’s been the last one to fall under Heimdul’s long axe!” And a very unusual, amused laugh followed those arrogant words of mockery.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • I would really love to receive any feedback you can give me, guys  t. Thanks for reading my exercise.¶¶A Veil Left in a Frozen Plain- - Part Two ¶“Tell me your name, outlander, so that at once I’ll feast and drink from your pretty skull m. My brothers may know who’of who has been the last one to fall under Heimdul’s long axe!” And a very unusual, amused laugh followed those arrogant words of mockery.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 3
  • câu 4
    • “Not in the safe warm of your house but in the unpleasant hall of Valhalla will you tell your brothers that you’ve met Conan of Cimmeria!” Thus answered the indomitable barbarian and with an inhuman speed he stepped forward in Heimdul’s direction like a wilde wolf hunting in the woods, sword in hand.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • “Not in the safe warm of your house, but in the unpleasant hall of Valhalla will you tell your brothers that you've met Conan of Cimmeria!” Tthus answered the indomitable barbarian, and with an inhuman speed, he stepped forward in Heimdul’s direction like a wilde wolf hunting in the woods, sword in hand.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 4
  • câu 5
    • There was a swift clangour of sword and axe which then died away with the same velocity of a kiss made by no soft and tasty lips, but of steel and flesh.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • There was a swift clangour of sword and axe of which then died away with the same velocity of a kiss made by nonot by soft and tasty lips, but ofby steel and flesh.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 5
  • câu 6
    • With a deaf sound and a lifeless expression on his face, Heimdul fell down before Conan’s feet, for he had been ran through by the aquilonian broadsword.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • With a deafening sound and with a lifeless expression on his face, Heimdul fell down before Conan’s feet, for he had been ran through by the aAquilonian broadsword.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 6
  • câu 7
    • A snarly expression was drawn on Conan’s face, that sort of excitement which comes from the physical agony of the battle.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • An excited, snarly expression was drawn on Conan’s face,- thate sort of excitement whichthat comes from the physical agony of the battle.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 7
  • câu 8
    • Extracting his broadsword from the dead body, he decapitated Heimdul getting ditch of his head on the ground.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • Extracting his broadsword from the dead body, he decapitated Heimdul getting ditch of, leaving his head on the ground.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 8
  • câu 9
  • câu 10
  • câu 11
    • Now that another colossus had died and other blood was lust on the purity of the snow, Conan said:” Northern bastard!” Faintly falling on his knees.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • Now that another colossus had died and that other blood was luost on the purity of the snow, Conan said:” , "Northern bastard!” FHe faintly faelling on to his knees.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 11ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 11
  • câu 12
    • The sun was now shining and gasping for his wounds he looked at the black crows while they were eagerly feasting upon a banquet made of corpses.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • The sun was now shining and g. Gasping for his wounds, he looked at the black crows while they were eagerly feasting upon a banquet made of corpses.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 12ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 12
  • câu 13
  • câu 14
    • Absently leaving his broadsword on the ground he laid on his back: for all the day he had been harvesting lives and now felt like life was running away from him, slowly abandoning him like a cruel and lascivious woman who no longer corresponded his love.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • Absently leaving his broadsword on the ground, he laidie on his back:; for all the day he had been harvesting lives and now felt likeas if life wasere running away from him,. As if it were slowly abandoning him like a cruel and lascivious woman who no longer corresponded his love.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 14ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 14
  • câu 15
  • câu 16
    • In his life he had held too many women between his arms, but now the memory of a carnal coitus made him feeling even more miserable and pitiful.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • In his life, he had held too many women between his arms, but now t. The memory of a carnal coitus made him feeling even more miserable and pitiful.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 16ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 16
  • câu 17
  • câu 18
  • câu 19
    • A beautiful woman sensuously irresistible with long red locks and a slender ivory body was approaching him: an impetuous stunning dawn who walked slowly on the snow, naked as the day save for a light veil of gossamer which descended from her shoulders till her knees.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • AIt was beautiful woman, sensuously irresistible with long red locks and a slender ivory body was approaching him:. She was an impetuous stunning dawn who walked slowly on the snow, naked as the day save for a light veil of gossamer which descended from her shoulders till her knees.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 19ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 19
  • câu 20
  • câu 21
  • câu 22
    • That laugh showed a glorious compound of colours: the deep red of her lips, the hypnotic green of her eyes and the half pale colour of her skin.
      Bầu chọn ngay!
    • That laugh showed a glorious compound of colours: the deep red of her lips, the hypnotic green of her eyes, and the half -pale colour of her skin.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 22ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - câu 22
  • câu 23