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Text from Cristian94 - English

  • A Veil Left in a Frozen Plain

  • Introduction.
  • Once again I found myself reading Robert E.
    • Howard’s The Frost Giant’s Daughter, which is probably the Sword and Sorcery tale (that’s actually the way this particular genre is called) I like the most.
  • I actually can’t stop listening to the dramatized audiobook version available on youtube!
  • Now, just for practicing and for fun also, I’ll do my best trying to describe the opening scene of that tale, adding some details which are not described by Howard but that I’ve been visualizing many times during my reading.
    • Obviously I won’t be as brilliant as Bob Howard has been, but I am sure you’ll forgive me because of that.
    • One more thing: again, I want to point out very clear that I am not trying to steal anyone’s tale or characters, this is just an exercise which I’ve done basing myself on a work by Robert E. Howard. Part one.
    • There is a brooding silence all around the snow field, a frosty, silvery landscape once charming and now darkened with a gloomy atmosphere, also filled with mutilated red-haired corpses everywhere.
    • In that illimitable, white plain, two figures stand upright; both are mighty warriors built powerfully as fierce gladiators, forged in the slaughter of battle.
    • Both many times escaped at the deathly embrace of the Reaper, being themselves skilled slayers.
  • The black-haired one is shieldless and he holds a huge aquilonian broadsword: his name his Conan, a barbarian who has come from a mythical far away northern country, called Cimmeria.
    • He stands with his feet planted in the snow like an iron statue, ignoring the growing sick weariness due to the fighting.
    • Beardless, inscrutable in his black cloak and cold as snow itself, he glares with his wolfish blue eyes at the other figure right in front of him, Heimdulof the red hair.
    • Heimdul is also shieldless, yet armoured with a mailed corselet and holds in his hands a sharpened long axe.
    • His locks of beard are red just like his hair, red as an early and naked dawn running on the snows.
    • Shaking his head like a lion might shake his mane, with a roar Heimdul slowly starts speaking to Conan....

PLEASE, HELP TO CORRECT EACH SENTENCE! - English

  • Title
  • Sentence 1
  • Sentence 2
  • Sentence 3
    • Howard’s The Frost Giant’s Daughter, which is probably the Sword and Sorcery tale (that’s actually the way this particular genre is called) I like the most.
      Vote now!
    • Howard’s 'The Frost Giant’s Daughter', which is probably the 'Sword and Sorcery' tale (that’s actually the way this particular genre is callede particular name of this sub-genre) I like the most.
      SkyelightSkyelight profile picture Comments
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 3
  • Sentence 4
  • Sentence 5
    • Now, just for practicing and for fun also, I’ll do my best trying to describe the opening scene of that tale, adding some details which are not described by Howard but that I’ve been visualizing many times during my reading.
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 5
  • Sentence 6
  • Sentence 7
    • One more thing: again, I want to point out very clear that I am not trying to steal anyone’s tale or characters, this is just an exercise which I’ve done basing myself on a work by Robert E. Howard. Part one.
      Vote now!
    • Once more thing: again, I want to point out very clear, I want to emphasise that I am not trying to steal anyone’ else's tale or characters,; this is justsimply an exercise which I’ve done basing myself on a workmyself, based on part I of a tale by Robert E. Howard. Part one.
      SkyelightSkyelight profile picture Comments
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 7
  • Sentence 8
    • There is a brooding silence all around the snow field, a frosty, silvery landscape once charming and now darkened with a gloomy atmosphere, also filled with mutilated red-haired corpses everywhere.
      Vote now!
    • There is a brooding silence allthat skims softly acroundss the snow field,; a frosty, silvery landscape once charming and now darkened with a grey and gloomy atmosphere, also filled with mutilated red-haired corpses scattered everywhere.
      SkyelightSkyelight profile picture Comments
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 8
  • Sentence 9
    • In that illimitable, white plain, two figures stand upright; both are mighty warriors built powerfully as fierce gladiators, forged in the slaughter of battle.
      Vote now!
    • In that illimitable, white plain, two figures stand upright; both are mighty warriors, built as powerfully and as fierce as gladiators, forged in the slaughter of battle.
      SkyelightSkyelight profile picture Comments
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 9
  • Sentence 10
  • Sentence 11
    • The black-haired one is shieldless and he holds a huge aquilonian broadsword: his name his Conan, a barbarian who has come from a mythical far away northern country, called Cimmeria.
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 11ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 11
  • Sentence 12
    • He stands with his feet planted in the snow like an iron statue, ignoring the growing sick weariness due to the fighting.
      Vote now!
    • He stands with his feet planted in the snow like an iron statue, ignoring the growing, sickly weariness due to thebrought on by the heavy fighting.
      SkyelightSkyelight profile picture Comments
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 12ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 12
  • Sentence 13
    • Beardless, inscrutable in his black cloak and cold as snow itself, he glares with his wolfish blue eyes at the other figure right in front of him, Heimdulof the red hair.
      Vote now!
    • Beardless, inscrutable in his black cloak and as cold as the snow itself, he glares with his wolfish blue eyes at the other figure right in front of him, Heimdulof the red hair.
      SkyelightSkyelight profile picture Comments
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 13ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 13
  • Sentence 14
    • Heimdul is also shieldless, yet armoured with a mailed corselet and holds in his hands a sharpened long axe.
      Vote now!
    • Heimdul is also shieldless, yet armoured with a mailed corselet and, holdsing firmly in his hands a sharpened long axe that slices the air, splintering the silence all at once.
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      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 14ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 14
  • Sentence 15
    • His locks of beard are red just like his hair, red as an early and naked dawn running on the snows.
      Vote now!
    • His locks of beard are a blood red- just like his hair, red as anthe early and, naked dawn runnfalling upon the snowsblanket of virgin white snow, ready to taint it.
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    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 15ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 15
  • Sentence 16