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HappyHipo (으)로 부터 도착한메세지 - English

    • The problem of average weight of people

    • Nowadays obesity became a big cause of concern in different countries especially in the US, Mexico and Australia.
    • Overweight people suffer from different diseases and problems in private lives.
    • There is a common opinion that the causes of obesity are junk food and lack of physical exercises.
    • The spreading of fast food plays an important role in human`s health.
    • The fast food contains a lot of chemical ingredients such as Trans fats, MSG and gene modified components.
    • These substances cause various heart diseases, strokes, diabetes.
    • Additionally, in case of long term consumption, these substances may cause both reproductive and hormonal systems.
    • Needless to say, the fast food causes obesity as well.
    • On the other hand, modern life style includes a lot of time in front of computers: people use computers at work and also spend their free time on the Internet decreasing their physical activity.
    • The lack of physical exercises leads to contraction of life expectancy and acceleration of ageing.
  • In conclusion, I agree with the common opinion that the main causes of health deterioration are harmful eating habits and sedentary life style.
    • In order to solve human`s health problems the government of countries should control the prices of fast food: particularly, the fast food prices shouldn`t be more cheaper than the prices of healthy food.
    • Furthermore, the governments should collaborate with gym holders and support them by reduction of taxes.
    • In addition, every person should take care of his own health.
    • The main ways to increase the life expectancy are substitution of junk food for healthy one and physical exercising.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

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  • 문장 1
    • Nowadays obesity became a big cause of concern in different countries especially in the US, Mexico and Australia.
      투표하세요!
    • Nowadays obesity has becaome a big cause of concern in different countries, especially in the US, Mexico and Australia.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1
  • 문장 2
  • 문장 3
  • 문장 4
  • 문장 5
    • The fast food contains a lot of chemical ingredients such as Trans fats, MSG and gene modified components.
      투표하세요!
    • The fFast food contains a lot of chemical ingredients such as Ttrans fats, MSG and gene modified components.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5
  • 문장 6
  • 문장 7
    • Additionally, in case of long term consumption, these substances may cause both reproductive and hormonal systems.
      투표하세요!
    • Additionally, in case of long term consumption, these substances may cause both reproductive and hormonal systemissues.
      100% GOOD (2 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7
  • 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • On the other hand, modern life style includes a lot of time in front of computers: people use computers at work and also spend their free time on the Internet decreasing their physical activity.
      투표하세요!
    • On the other hand, the modern life style includes a lot of time in front of computers: people use computers at work and also spend their free time on the Internet decreasing their physical activity.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
  • 문장 11
    • In conclusion, I agree with the common opinion that the main causes of health deterioration are harmful eating habits and sedentary life style.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 11ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 11
  • 문장 12
    • In order to solve human`s health problems the government of countries should control the prices of fast food: particularly, the fast food prices shouldn`t be more cheaper than the prices of healthy food.
      투표하세요!
    • In order to solve human`s health problems, the governments of countries should control the prices of fast food: particularly, thefor example, fast food prices shouldn`t be more cheaper than the prices of healthy food.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12
  • 문장 13
    • Furthermore, the governments should collaborate with gym holders and support them by reduction of taxes.
      투표하세요!
    • Furthermore, the governments should collaborate with gym holders and support them by tax reduction of taxes.s
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 13ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 13
  • 문장 14
  • 문장 15
    • The main ways to increase the life expectancy are substitution of junk food for healthy one and physical exercising.
      투표하세요!
    • The main ways to increase the life expectancy are substitution of junk food for healthy onefood and physical exercisinge. ¶
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 15ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 15