Text from Serena_B - English
A part of diary. The research: why I can't read. (2)
- The research itself.
- So I start reading and what interrupts me: *) Dissatisfaction that "I have to read".
- That means that I subconsciously force myself to read just not to feel bored, hoping to enjoy it sooner or later.
- *) Dissatisfaction that something interesting doesn't begin.
- *) Dissatisfaction that I can't see anything new.
- *) There is always a confidence that I'm wasting my time, because "nothing happens" in a book and really nothing happens in my life when I'm reading, so I start imagine how I could do something else instead, interesting or useful.
- In reality, if I don't read, I watch tv series or renew a few favourite sites in the internet and feel dissatisfaction in "nothing new" again :) and feel even worse.
- So, the confidence in wasting time is absolutely undue and inadequate, I wonder where it came from.
- Maybe from teachers or parents, when they made me always do something useful and not "waste time on fooling around".
- And why I still want to learn how to get pleasure from reading anyway: *) Till 2009 it was really a pleasure.
- *) I want to be smart and readings could help with it.
- *) I want to be self-satisfied and smug (by?) knowing rare authors sometimes (that's the bad reason, but here it is anyway - and I want to be honest with my motives).
- *) To not to feel bored if movies already bored me.
- *) Cause reading is valuable pastime among my friends.
- (That's another bad reason, but it's still here, so...
- I don't want to fix it now anyway).
- That is all research.
- I thought it's too simple and it will not work but it worked surprisingly :) After a week or two I wanted to read Stanislavski "An Actor Prepares" all of a sudden, then Bazhanov "Memories of former Secretary of Stalin", it was very interesting, then I read three another books and I didn't feel that stupid dissatisfaction at all!
- Serena_BJanuary 2013Vote now!
PLEASE, HELP TO CORRECT EACH SENTENCE! - English