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    • Ielts writing task 2

    • Nowadays, in many countries, people live in areas that are not similar, they are from discrepant cultures and belong to ethnic minorities.
  • Therefore, I believe that there are so many causes leading to this and the problem may outweigh the benefits.
    • On the one hand, the various people with many cultural traditions resulted from migration and economy.
    • Some people believe that moving to another country brings up a higher standard of living for them.
    • They can have the paid-off jobs and have more opportunities to express themselves.
    • Moreover, the factor leading to the multinational and multicultural group is the history of the establishment of each nation.
  • For instance, when America was discovered, a great number of people from everywhere migrated there and started a new life.
  • However, there are some negative impacts on society by multiculturalism.
    • It is true that cultural diversity makes our life more enjoyable, but it also takes the risk of the community.
  • Firstly, the rise in the number of groups living together leads to plenty of conflicts because of the discrepancy and racial discrimination.
  • For example, in the United States, anti-black racism has existed for a long time.
    • Besides, almost every ethnic group needs the support of the government, they must invest a lot of money in the underdeveloped areas.
    • Therefore, the greater burden is placed on the economy and society.
    • Finally, there are several reasons for this trend bringing some disadvantages which must be improved as soon as possible.

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  • 문장 1
    • Nowadays, in many countries, people live in areas that are not similar, they are from discrepant cultures and belong to ethnic minorities.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • Nowadays, in many countries, people live in areas that are not similar, --they are from discrepant cultures and belong to ethnic minorities.
      genzaimugenzaimu profile picture 댓글
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    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1
  • 문장 2
  • 문장 3
    • On the one hand, the various people with many cultural traditions resulted from migration and economy.
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    • On the one hand, the various people with many cultural traditions resulted from migration and the economy.
      mming2mming2 profile picture 댓글 1
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    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3
  • 문장 4
    • Some people believe that moving to another country brings up a higher standard of living for them.
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    • Some people believe that moving to another country brings upabout a higher standard of living for them.
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    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4
  • 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • Moreover, the factor leading to the multinational and multicultural group is the history of the establishment of each nation.
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    • Moreover, thea key factor leading to the multinational and multicultural groups is the history of the establishment of each nation.
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    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
    • For instance, when America was discovered, a great number of people from everywhere migrated there and started a new life.
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    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7
  • 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • It is true that cultural diversity makes our life more enjoyable, but it also takes the risk of the community.
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    • It is true that cultural diversity makes our life more enjoyable, but it also takes theadds risk tof the community.
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    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
    • Firstly, the rise in the number of groups living together leads to plenty of conflicts because of the discrepancy and racial discrimination.
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    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10
  • 문장 11
  • 문장 12
    • Besides, almost every ethnic group needs the support of the government, they must invest a lot of money in the underdeveloped areas.
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    • BesidesIn addition, almost every ethnic group needs the support of the government,; they must invest a lot of money in the underdeveloped areas.
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    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12
  • 문장 13
  • 문장 14
    • Finally, there are several reasons for this trend bringing some disadvantages which must be improved as soon as possible.
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    • FinallyIn conclusion, there are several reasons for this trend bringing about some disadvantages which must be improvaddressed as soon as possible. ¶
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    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 14ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 14