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  • Essay

    • It is no secret that people have different music preferences.
    • The project I am working on is aimed at establishing what kinds of music are popular nowadays.
    • I have found some data on this issue and organised it in a table.
    • In this essay, I aim to analyse my findings.
    • Overall, the majority of respondents, which is 21,6% and 21%, claim that their favourite music genres are alternative rock and folk music respectively.
    • Another key feature is that 5% of the interviewees reported enjoying rap, putting this genre at the bottom of the table.
    • The table also shows that rock is less liked by the surveyed than alternative rock and folk music.
    • By contrast, pop music, which is in the fourth position with 8%, is near 3 times less popular than the two leading genres.
    • While many people cannot imagine their lives without music, an important problem is associated with listening to music.
    • It is known that prolonged activity can lead to hearing loss.
    • However, there is possible solution to the problem.
  • Music lovers can effectively deal with this issue by taking regular breaks from listening to music and by moderating the volume.
    • In conclusion, although some avid music lovers can face some problems, I am convinced that music is great to reduce stress and find inspiration.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

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  • 문장 1
    • It is no secret that people have different music preferences.
      100% GOOD (2 votes)
    • It is no secret that people have different music preferences.

      NOTE: Your original structure is ok, but would be better if expressed as "It is no secret that people have different musical preferences" OR "It is no secret that people have different tastes in music".
      exRangerexRanger profile picture 댓글 1
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  • 문장 2
    • The project I am working on is aimed at establishing what kinds of music are popular nowadays.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • The project on which I am working on is aimed at establishingseeks to identify what kinds of music are popular nowadayscurrently popular.
      exRangerexRanger profile picture 댓글
    • The project I am working on is aimed ataims to establishing what kinds of music are popular nowadaysresently popular.
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    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2
  • 문장 3
    • I have found some data on this issue and organised it in a table.
      투표하세요!
    • I have found somecollected data on this issue and organised ithem in a table.

      NOTE: the term "data" is PLURAL, i.e., "The data are..." OR "the data show" ... etc.
      exRangerexRanger profile picture 댓글
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3
  • 문장 4
  • 문장 5
    • Overall, the majority of respondents, which is 21,6% and 21%, claim that their favourite music genres are alternative rock and folk music respectively.
      투표하세요!
    • Overall, the majority of respondents, which is 21,6% and 21%, claimMore than 40% (42.6%) of respondents reported that their favourite music genres are atype of music is Alternative rRock and folk music respectively(21.6%) or Folk (21%).
      exRangerexRanger profile picture 댓글
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • Another key feature is that 5% of the interviewees reported enjoying rap, putting this genre at the bottom of the table.
      투표하세요!
    • Another key featureinding is that 5% of the interviewees reported enjoying rap, putting this genrerespondents reported that Rap is their favorite type of music, signalling Rap ats the bottom of the tableleast-favorite type of music among all respondents in the study.
      exRangerexRanger profile picture 댓글
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  • 문장 7
    • The table also shows that rock is less liked by the surveyed than alternative rock and folk music.
      투표하세요!
    • The datable also shows that rock is less liked by the surveyed than athe category called Rock is less popular than the categories Alternative rRock and fFolk music.
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    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • By contrast, pop music, which is in the fourth position with 8%, is near 3 times less popular than the two leading genres.
      투표하세요!
    • By contrast, pThe category Pop mMusic, which is inat 8% occupies the fourth position with 8%, is near 3, is almost three times less popular than the two leadingop two musical genres.
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  • 문장 9
    • While many people cannot imagine their lives without music, an important problem is associated with listening to music.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • While many people cannot imagine their lives without music, an importthere is a significant problem is associated with listening to music.
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    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
  • 문장 11
  • 문장 12
    • Music lovers can effectively deal with this issue by taking regular breaks from listening to music and by moderating the volume.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12
  • 문장 13
    • In conclusion, although some avid music lovers can face some problems, I am convinced that music is great to reduce stress and find inspiration.
      투표하세요!
    • In conclusion, althoughwhile some avid music lovers can face some problemsmight experience problems associated with listening to music, I am convinced that music is greathelps to reduce stress and find inspiration. ¶
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