Corrections

Text from anny_kolot - English

 
  • Essay 3

  • I believe that television advertising directed toward young children should not be allowed.
    • This is primarily because any kind of advertisement influence our minds, and when it comes to young children, this manipulation is immoral.
    • They have just started to live, and their mind is like a sponge.
  • They remember and process information in an unusual manner.
  • It means that we can not predict how the advertisement will influence their psychology and personality.
    • In fact, a psychologist forbid my little sister from watching TV, because due to it she started to behave badly.
    • He said that cartoons and other TV programs for children are harmless, but the advertising with its bright colors, loud music and things like that can influence a child’s behavior.
  • Additionally, young children can start begging for the toy from the advertisement, and their parents can not always afford it.
  • Children can not understand the concept of money.
    • As a result, they will feel very frustrated and angry when parents refuse to buy what they want.
  • When a was a little girl, I always asked for dolls that were shown in TV advertisements.
  • My parents bought me some of them, but they were not able to buy everything I wanted, and I felt very unhappy about it.
  • Essentially, children know nothing about critical thinking.
  • They do not know how to choose a good product, how to save or spend money.
    • For example, when my little sister saw McDonalds’ advertisement about milkshakes, she started begging for it.
    • Moreover, she refused drinking home-made milkshake, which was healthier and tasted better.

PLEASE, HELP TO CORRECT EACH SENTENCE! - English