Korrekturen

Text von Maryam1987 - English

    • Would you please correct my text? Thank you so much.

    • It is true that at this time television one of the more popular recreation (entertainment) among children and a large number of children prefer to spend time in front of it.
    • For creating this phenomenon there is a variety of reasons and perhaps this essay can suggest several appropriate solutions to tackle it.
    • There are significant reasons in this subject why youngsters want to waste their time by watching TV programs instead of doing beneficial activities such as reading, play with peers and do exercise.
    • First and foremost; lack of adequate knowledge and appropriate attentions of parents to this issue.
    • To be more precise, parents would like their offspring to stay at home and watching social media programs instead of going out and being busy healthy amusements with their peers and friends.
    • For instance; documentaries and news producers on the TV are inclined to broadcast terrible reports about abusing children outside of homes.
    • Therefore, these kinds of news easily create phobia about society in parents' minds.
    • Last but not least, on TV broadcast various attractive programs arrange from cartoons to movies for children so they do not let them play physical and mental games.
    • Because children tend to search for exciting hobbies when they do not access them they force to follow TV programs that sometimes show violence and high-risk behaviors.
    • However, there are multiple solutions (remedies) to work out this growing issue.
    • Schools should be obliged (موظف باشند) to enrich their after-hours programs with various activities, such as sport, art or Scientific activities.
    • If children spent more time on practical activities at schools, they would have less time and energy to spend in front of the TV.
    • Secondly, parents can be educated by educational programs that training parents that conservation of children does not mean; they should isolate and separate social context.
    • For example; parents not merely must regular discipline and flexible schedules for their children but they also can encourage them to do exercise or physical activities in free time instead of only watching TV screens.
    • In conclusion, this essay discussed why TV programs are enjoyable for youngsters and how families and schools can help to reduce it.

BITTE, hilf jeden Satz zu korrigieren! - English

  • Titel
  • Satz 1
    • It is true that at this time television one of the more popular recreation (entertainment) among children and a large number of children prefer to spend time in front of it.
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    • It is true that at this time television IS one of the more popular recreation (entertainment) CHOICES among children and THAT a large number of children prefer to spend time in front of it.THE TV?
    • It is true that at this time televisionPresently one of the more popular recreational, or (entertainment), activities among children and a large number of children prefer to spend time in front of itis watching television.
    • Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 1Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 1
  • Satz 2
    • For creating this phenomenon there is a variety of reasons and perhaps this essay can suggest several appropriate solutions to tackle it.
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    • For creatingTo understand this phenomenon, there isare a variety of reasons and perhaps this essay can suggest several appropriate solutions to tackle ithe problem.
    • For creatingAnd just as there are several reasons for this phenomenon, there is a variety of reasons and perhaps goal of this essay canis to suggest several appropriate solutions to tacklea variety of ways to remedy it.
    • Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 2Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 2
  • Satz 3
    • There are significant reasons in this subject why youngsters want to waste their time by watching TV programs instead of doing beneficial activities such as reading, play with peers and do exercise.
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    • There are significant reasexplanations ion this subject why youngsters would want to waste their time by watching TV programs instead of doing beneficial activities such as reading, playing with peers, and doing exercise.
    • There are significantAs stated above, there are several reasons into this subject why youngsters want to waste their time by watching TV programs instead of doing benefphenomenon and explain why children prefer to devote their time to viewing television rather than engage in such activities as reading, engaging in physicial activities such as reading,y, and/or spending time playing with peers and do exercisetheir friends.¶

      NOTE: though there are, doubtless, children who "spend time" watching TV w/ friends and who regard this activity as "playing" and/or a "physical activity"
      .
    • Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 3Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 3
  • Satz 4
    • First and foremost; lack of adequate knowledge and appropriate attentions of parents to this issue.
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    • FThe first and foremost; lack of adequate knowledge and appropriate attentions of parents to this issuemain reason for this phenomenon is a lack of attention, and perhaps ignorance, on the part of a child's parent(s).
    • Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 4Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 4
  • Satz 5
    • To be more precise, parents would like their offspring to stay at home and watching social media programs instead of going out and being busy healthy amusements with their peers and friends.
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    • To be more precise, parents would like their offspringchildren to stay at home and watching social media programs instead of going out and beingto be busy and healthy amusementing themselves with their peers and friends.
    • To be mohere parecise, parents would likeho prefer that their offspring to stay at home and watchingview social media programs instead of goventuring out and being busy healthy amusementside the home and engaging in activities with their peers and friends.
    • Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 5Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 5
  • Satz 6
    • For instance; documentaries and news producers on the TV are inclined to broadcast terrible reports about abusing children outside of homes.
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    • For instance;, documentaries and news producers on the TV are inclined to broadcast terrible reports about abusinge of children outside of homes.
    • For instance; dDocumentariesy and news producersother televised "information" productions report onf the TV are inclined to broadcast terriblmyriad potential abuses and the preports about abusing children outside ofcariousness of the environment children face beyond the "safety" of their homes.
    • Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 6Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 6
  • Satz 7
    • Therefore, these kinds of news easily create phobia about society in parents' minds.
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    • Therefore, theseis kinds of news easily create phobia about society in parents' minds.
    • Therefore, these kinds of news easily create phobia about society in parents' mindsSuch "news" creates a fear in parents' minds re: the dangers that exist in society at large and thus the dangers they pose to their children.
    • Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 7Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 7
  • Satz 8
    • Last but not least, on TV broadcast various attractive programs arrange from cartoons to movies for children so they do not let them play physical and mental games.
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    • Last but not least, on TV broadcasts various attractive programs arrange, from cartoons to movies for children so they, which do not letallow them to play physical and mental games.
    • Last but not least, on TV broadcast various attractive programs arrange fromFinally, such television programming, including cartoons toand movies for, is designed specifically to attract children sto they do not let them play physical and mental gamsit in front of the TV and watch it instead of engaging in other activities.
    • Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 8Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 8
  • Satz 9
    • Because children tend to search for exciting hobbies when they do not access them they force to follow TV programs that sometimes show violence and high-risk behaviors.
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    • Because children tend to search for exciting hobbies when they do not have access to them, they are forced to follow TV programs that sometimes show violence and high-risk behaviors.
    • BecauseMany children tend to search for exciting hobbies when they do not access them they force to follow TVwho are attracted to exciting content and activities often find satisfaction in watching programsming that sometimes show violence and high-risk behaviorpresents high-risk behavior and dangerous activities.
    • Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 9Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 9
  • Satz 10
  • Satz 11
    • Schools should be obliged (موظف باشند) to enrich their after-hours programs with various activities, such as sport, art or Scientific activities.
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    • Schools should be obliged (موظف باشند) to enrich their after-hours programs with various activities, such as sports, art or Sscientific activities.
    • Schools should be obligated (موظف باشند) to enrich theirto provide after-hours programs with variousthat include such activities, such as sports, art or Sacademic/scientific activitieendeavors.
    • Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 11Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 11
  • Satz 12
    • If children spent more time on practical activities at schools, they would have less time and energy to spend in front of the TV.
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    • If children spent more time on practical activities atin schools, they would have less time and energy to spend in front of the TV.
    • IFirst, if children spent more time oengaged in practical activities at schools, they would have less time and energy to spend in front of the TV.

      NOTE: is "energy" really ever required to sit and watch a television? I recommend deletion of the words "and energy" from the sentence.
    • Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 12Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 12
  • Satz 13
    • Secondly, parents can be educated by educational programs that training parents that conservation of children does not mean; they should isolate and separate social context.
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    • Secondly, parents can be educated by educational programs that training parents that conservation of children does not mean ____?; they should isolate and separate social contexts.
    • Secondly, parents canmust be educated by educational programs that training parents that conservationin the practice of child ren does not mean; they should isolate and separate social context.aring and development, including more effective means of socialization.
    • Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 13Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 13
  • Satz 14
    • For example; parents not merely must regular discipline and flexible schedules for their children but they also can encourage them to do exercise or physical activities in free time instead of only watching TV screens.
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    • For example; parents must not merely must regularly discipline and have flexible schedules for their children, but they also canshould/must encourage them to do exercise or physical activities in their free time instead of only watching TV screens.
    • For example; parents not merely must regular discipline and flexible schedules for their children but they also can encourage them to do exercise or physical activities in free time instead of only watching TV screensurther, parents must not only regulate their children's television-viewing activity, but actively encourage their children to participate in physical activities, e.g., exercise, as an alternative to watching television.
    • Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 14Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 14
  • Satz 15
    • In conclusion, this essay discussed why TV programs are enjoyable for youngsters and how families and schools can help to reduce it.
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    • In conclusion, this essay discussed why TV programs are enjoyable for youngsters and how families and schools can help to reduce its impact on children.
    • In conclusion, this essay discuaddresseds why TV programs are enjoyable for youngat television is, for many reasons, attractive to children, and what sterps and how familiesparents (or legal guardians) and schools can helptake to reduce it. ¶
      mediate this situation.¶

      NOTE: "remediate" = "to correct"
    • Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 15Füge eine neue Korrektur hinzu! - Satz 15