Corrections

Text from finnishstudent - English

  • Very long essay - I would be grateful if someone corrected it

  • The Bunjilaka Aboriginal Cultural Centre describes indigenous people in many different ways.
    • The exhibition had divided into various sections dealing with different topics.
    • Major topics concerned art, identity, and history whereas their current situation and living conditions were not considered almost at all.
  • On the grounds of an overall impression of the museum, the art is extremely distinctive, and it is a significant part of the identity of indigenous people, which is not surprising considering the several talented artists among the aboriginals.
  • At the heart of the indigenous art is most decidedly the Australian nature.
  • In my opinion, the way to describe it differs from western art in many ways.
  • There was also a very interesting view concerning the Creation story that I had not heard before.
  • In addition, the indigenous culture contains plenty of other stories which are told from old generations to new generations.
  • I also heard and read some of their languages for the first time and it really reminded me of how separate and special their whole culture and heredity are.
  • The performance of art, language, stories, and traditions were remarkably impressive exceeding my expectations.
  • Notwithstanding, due to my personal interests I focused more on aboriginal’s history and position in the society.
  • The history and especially the time of colonialism are familiar to me in substance, but the exhibition introduced the topics from a view of the aboriginals.
  • The history appears certainly different from their perspective.
  • In the first place, nature is significantly more important for indigenous peoples in Australia as well as in Finland.
  • New residents have had a different approach to nature through history the world over.
  • In my view, the new residents have appreciated nature mainly in the sense of consumption.
  • On the contrary, the indigenous peoples have lived side by side with nature thinking highly of its spiritual side as well.
  • The exhibition was partly sorrowful to explore on the grounds of desperation which was reflected in presentations.
  • I found a display with the title “Aborigines Claim Citizen Rights!
  • A Statement of the Case for the Aborigines Progressive Association”.
  • The statement illustrated the despair of aboriginals as they tried to attain protection for their rights.
  • As well as in Australia, indigenous people have had a weaker position in society in recent centuries.
  • Both Australia and Finland still consider themselves as a land of equality and even though countries have declared the rights of indigenous people, neither of them has signed the contract of United Nations Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples (UNDRIP, United Nations).
  • One of the most interesting factors which were changed after the colonialism is the whole lifestyle when it comes to economic matters.
  • The colonialists brought with them the agricultural techniques which quickly displaced the previous foraging economy.
  • The issue can be detected in the museum thence there are no references to agriculture.
  • It did not belong to the original lifestyle of the indigenous people.
  • The same phenomenon took place in the North as well.
  • Traditionally Saame is combined with reindeer herding which meant moving lifestyle before the arrival of the Finns and the other Nordic people.
  • Of course, it would not be realistic to try maintaining ancient and inefficient manners as before.
  • The question is rather that the new Australians have conquered all the lands and brought invasive species to Australia and as a result of that, Australian nature, as well as the whole animal species and flora, have changed.
  • In Finland, agriculture replaced all of the old habits and ways to run the economy and nowadays the reindeer herding practically exists for tourism.

PLEASE, HELP TO CORRECT EACH SENTENCE! - English