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KornienkoNikita (으)로 부터 도착한메세지 - English

  • My plans

  • Hello everyone!
    • I am from Russia and I want to work in corporate finance sphere, where fluent English is required.
  • So I am trying to improve my language skills!
    • I am writing here just for a practice and I will be regretful for correcting my mistakes!
    • I grow up in Omsk, it is a big city in the middle of Siberia with wonderful nature but lack of money.
    • All my live i have been interesting in big business, so I entered the financial university but I didn't know what exactly I wand to do in my life.
    • But I thought that the best way to become a businessman is to found your own small business and continuously grow it up.
    • So I created an internet shop of sport nutrition (you know, some proteins and so on) when I was a second year student and serve more then 1 000 consumers within 2,5 year.
    • Although, during the third year of the university I realized that my shop is dramatically different from the big business I was dreaming about.
    • At the same time I find some very exciting book about Investment Banks and Private Equity funds and realized that this is exactly what I want to spend my life on.
    • I sold my business, moved to Moscow and applied to the Big 4 company at Business Valuation department.
    • And now only English fluency is a barrier between me and my perfect job.
    • Thanks for attention!
    • I will be glad to receive feed back about my mistakes.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

  • 제목
  • 문장 1
  • 문장 2
  • 문장 3
  • 문장 4
  • 문장 5
    • I grow up in Omsk, it is a big city in the middle of Siberia with wonderful nature but lack of money.
      투표하세요!
    • I groew up in Omsk, it is a big city in the middle of Siberia with wonderful nature but lack of moneyemployment opportunities.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • All my live i have been interesting in big business, so I entered the financial university but I didn't know what exactly I wand to do in my life.
      투표하세요!
    • All my livfe iI have been interestinged in big business, so I wentered to the fFinancial u University but I didn' not know what exactly I wandt to do inwith my life.
    • All my livfe iI have been interestinged in big business, so I entered the frolled in a Financial university but I didn't knoew what exactly I wanted to do in my life.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
    • But I thought that the best way to become a businessman is to found your own small business and continuously grow it up.
      투표하세요!
    • But I thought that the best way to become a businessman iwas to foundcreate your own small business and continuously growbuild it up.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • So I created an internet shop of sport nutrition (you know, some proteins and so on) when I was a second year student and serve more then 1 000 consumers within 2,5 year.
      투표하세요!
    • So I created an internet shop of sport nutrition internet shop (you know, some proteins and so on) when I was a second year student and within two and a half years serve more then 1 000 consumers within 2,5 year.
    • So I created an internet shop ofe-commerce site for sports nutrition (you know, some proteins and so on) when I was a second year student and served more then 1 000 consumers within 2,5two and a half years.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • Although, during the third year of the university I realized that my shop is dramatically different from the big business I was dreaming about.
      투표하세요!
    • Although, dDuring the third year ofat the university I realized that my shop is dramatically different fromto the big business I was dreaming about.
    • Although, during the third year of my course at the university I realized that my shop is dramatically different from the big business that I was dreaming about.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
    • At the same time I find some very exciting book about Investment Banks and Private Equity funds and realized that this is exactly what I want to spend my life on.
      투표하세요!
    • At the same time I fiound some very exciting books about Investment Banks and Private Equity funds and realized that this is exactly what I want to spend my life ondoing.
    • At the same time I fiound some very exciting books about Investment Banks and Private Equity fFunds and I realized that this is exactly what I want to spend my life ondoing.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • At the same time I fiound some very exciting books about Investment Banksing and Private Equity fFunds and realized that this is exactly what I want to spenddo in my life on.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10
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