التصحيحات

نص من - English

  • Subjet: Progress

  • I'm going to speak about the notion of progress.
    • In my opinion, the progress is an improvment, a change and advance science which contributs to making the world better place.
  • An equivalent could be development.
  • Progress evolves with time.
    • My problematics is « To what extent is progress a good evolution ?
    • » First, let me speak about the good side of progress.
    • I would like to start by saying the social network is advantages that progress: The social network permits people to talk with persons who are at the other end of the world (For example, thanks to Mail and Facebook).
    • This is a advance technology important because it is a revolution in the social domaine.
    • Moroever, progress allows people to increase the trade in the worldwide thanks to globalization in the net.
    • Besides, The medecine has do a big evolution.
    • The medicine progress permit to increase the life expectancy.
    • In 1990, the life expectancy was sixty five years old while in 2013, she was seventy years old in the world.
    • And, the medecine enables medecin to transfer organs of healthy patient to a sick patient.
    • It was revolution in the world because this methode permit to safe of life.
    • For exemple, the creation of “rabbies shot” by Pasteur.
    • There have been many medical advances, as for instance in Suisse, a blind person since 15 years old has succeeded in regain their sight thanks to bionic eye.
  • Progress enables an evolution on a par with novel technology.
    • In the past, the television was in black and white, he had to wait to one october nineteen sixty seven for appearance color télévision in France.
    • What's more, many technology revolutionized the world between 2000 and 2009.
  • For instance: MSN, a computer (It's the end for the minitel), internet, the website as you tube, smartphone, and likewise, since 2015 there is explosion of the connected objects as apple watch.
  • Nevertheless, progress comports drawbacks too despite many evolution.
  • For exemple, industries are drawbacks of progress because thanks to progress, industries more produce, This means that the pollution increase.
    • What's more, the increased production cars causes an increase in the air pollution.
  • It is estimated that there are one millions cars in the world.
  • For exemple, The social network that pose the question of liberty because the network store data.
  • Progress could be harmful for man because the creation of engine novel more sophisticated and performant causes unemployment because there is less need for human.
  • To finish with, increasing of life expectancy causes crisis because it must pay pensions.
  • In conclude, Progress is a good evolution for evolution with drawbacks more and less important.
  • That is to say, it is important ther is progress, We have to do warning in the future of the world not to destroy it, as such pollution

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