Corrections

Text from kariesona - English

  • Young adults & independance

  • Becoming a young adult is the dawn of a new stage in everybody's life.
  • At this point, some yearn for their independence, while others choose to stay with their families for a longer time.
  • I personally think that young adults should live with their families for a little bit longer.
  • On one hand, it is easy to understand why young adults would be eager to become independent from their parents as soon as possible: they are about to start a new life, where they will be responsible for themselves and not have to report every single thing to their parents.
    • All in all, they will finally be able to shape their own life as they intend for it to be.
    • However, nowadays it is not that easy to become independent early in adulthood: with the economic recession, it is harder than ever to get a job.
    • And in order to get one, we have to show a good CV: this implies going through studies that are getting longer as well, and not being able to search for a job before several years!
  • Thus, it is not possible for a young adult to be fully independent very quickly.
  • For example, I have a friend who moved out of her house as soon as she reached 18.
  • She considered herself independent because she had her own appartment, and she could do whatever she wanted to do without asking her parents' permission.
  • However, she did not pay for her own expenses.
  • Her parents had to provide her with money for everything, and if they were not happy with what she did (if she had bad academic results, or if she spent to much money for instance), they would threaten to cut the money.
  • So she was not actually independent, and could not be until she finished her studies and got a job...
  • On the other hand, young adults have to remember that sooner or later, they will become independent, move out of their house and have their own family.
  • In other words, they have their whole life to live away from their parents afterwards, so there is no need to rush and flee one's family's house.
  • Moreover, I think that in life, family comes first.
  • We should take care of our family members, have fun with them and take care of them as much as possible, or someday we might regret that we did not.
  • One of my friend had the same opinion as me, and stayed with her family until she could provide for herself without her parents' help.
  • She was glad she did so: right after she moved out, her younger brother had a tragic car accident, and died quickly after.
  • Despite the sorrow, my friend and her parents were glad they got to spend so much time together, before they had to part ways in such a sad and brutal way.
  • In a nutshell, we never know what can happen to our family members, and when.
  • So in order not to have any regrets, one should be reminded that family is irreplaceable, before leaving the nest in a hurry just to be independent.

PLEASE, HELP TO CORRECT EACH SENTENCE! - English

  • Title
  • Sentence 1
  • Sentence 2
  • Sentence 3
  • Sentence 4
    • On one hand, it is easy to understand why young adults would be eager to become independent from their parents as soon as possible: they are about to start a new life, where they will be responsible for themselves and not have to report every single thing to their parents.
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    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 4
  • Sentence 5
  • Sentence 6
    • However, nowadays it is not that easy to become independent early in adulthood: with the economic recession, it is harder than ever to get a job.
      Vote now!
    • However, nowadays it is not that easy to become independent early in adulthood: with. Due to the economic recession, it is harder than ever to get a job.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 6
  • Sentence 7
    • And in order to get one, we have to show a good CV: this implies going through studies that are getting longer as well, and not being able to search for a job before several years!
      Vote now!
    • And in order to get one, we have to show a good CV: this implies going through studies that are getting longer as well, and not being able to search for a job before several years of extra schooling!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 7
  • Sentence 8
  • Sentence 9
  • Sentence 10
    • She considered herself independent because she had her own appartment, and she could do whatever she wanted to do without asking her parents' permission.
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 10
  • Sentence 11
  • Sentence 12
    • Her parents had to provide her with money for everything, and if they were not happy with what she did (if she had bad academic results, or if she spent to much money for instance), they would threaten to cut the money.
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 12ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 12
  • Sentence 13
  • Sentence 14
    • On the other hand, young adults have to remember that sooner or later, they will become independent, move out of their house and have their own family.
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 14ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 14
  • Sentence 15
    • In other words, they have their whole life to live away from their parents afterwards, so there is no need to rush and flee one's family's house.
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 15ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 15
  • Sentence 16
  • Sentence 17
    • We should take care of our family members, have fun with them and take care of them as much as possible, or someday we might regret that we did not.
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 17ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 17
  • Sentence 18
    • One of my friend had the same opinion as me, and stayed with her family until she could provide for herself without her parents' help.
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 18ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 18
  • Sentence 19
  • Sentence 20
    • Despite the sorrow, my friend and her parents were glad they got to spend so much time together, before they had to part ways in such a sad and brutal way.
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 20ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 20
  • Sentence 21
  • Sentence 22
    • So in order not to have any regrets, one should be reminded that family is irreplaceable, before leaving the nest in a hurry just to be independent.
      Vote now!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 22ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 22