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  • Essay: does fame bring happiness?

  • There is no doubt that nowadays many young people believe that being famous is very exciting and that it automatically makes people feel happy.
  • Some people think that being famous means you do not have to worry about anything, because you have a lot of money, therefore you can easily obtain whatever you want.
  • On the one hand, it is true that there are lots of advantages to being famous.
    • You always feel you are loved by people who aee your fan.
  • Moreover, it is true that famous people do not have any problem in terms of money, therefore you can afford lots of luxurious things, such as a wonderful house, an expensive car or a great holiday wherever you prefer.
  • On the other hand, we should also consider some disadvantages to being famous.
    • Firstly, a famous person loses his/her privacy at all, as he/she is recognized wherever he/she goes, by people asking for a picture, for example.
    • Secondly, a famous person is often very busy with his/her work and, as a consequence, it is difficult for him/her to maintain relationships with friends or relatives.
  • Unfortunately, very few people think about these downsides.
  • In conclusion, young people who believe that fame brings happiness are not totally right, because it is not easy to maintain important relationships and to have privacy when you are famous, and this could make you feel depressed after a certain period of time.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

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  • 문장 1
    • There is no doubt that nowadays many young people believe that being famous is very exciting and that it automatically makes people feel happy.
      83% GOOD (127 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1
  • 문장 2
    • Some people think that being famous means you do not have to worry about anything, because you have a lot of money, therefore you can easily obtain whatever you want.
      58% GOOD (60 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2
  • 문장 3
  • 문장 4
  • 문장 5
    • Moreover, it is true that famous people do not have any problem in terms of money, therefore you can afford lots of luxurious things, such as a wonderful house, an expensive car or a great holiday wherever you prefer.
      78% GOOD (9 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5
  • 문장 6
  • 문장 7
    • Firstly, a famous person loses his/her privacy at all, as he/she is recognized wherever he/she goes, by people asking for a picture, for example.
      90% GOOD (10 votes)
    • Firstly, a famous person loses his/her privacy at all, as he/she is recognized wherever he/she goes, and by people asking for a picture, for examplephotos of him/her.
      SunChaserSunChaser profile picture 댓글 1
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • Secondly, a famous person is often very busy with his/her work and, as a consequence, it is difficult for him/her to maintain relationships with friends or relatives.
      5% GOOD (77 votes)
    • Secondly, a famous person is often very busy with his/ or¶
      her work and, as a consequence, it is difficult for him/her to maintain relationships with friends or relatives.
      PSV1PSV1 profile picture 댓글
      10% GOOD (50 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8
  • 문장 9
  • 문장 10
    • In conclusion, young people who believe that fame brings happiness are not totally right, because it is not easy to maintain important relationships and to have privacy when you are famous, and this could make you feel depressed after a certain period of time.
      6% GOOD (77 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10