수정본

abdulkareem (으)로 부터 도착한메세지 - English

    • Statement of purpose

    • Statement of Purpose My name is XXXXXXX, I was born in 1989.
    • I am single and I live in XXXXX, XXXXXXXXXX.
    • My educational achievement in the intermediate and secondary school has always been within the range of 83-93%.
    • At intermediate school I began interested in computer and its sciences, I was interested in programming and I starts to learn it using Visual Basic 6.
    • I faced many difficulties in my learning journey, the most difficult task was to obtain information because there is no resources in my remote village and there is no services.
  • Internet service was one of my dreams to obtain information about programming and computer sciences.
    • Fortunately my older brother give me sponsorship and motivate me, he gifts me book about Visual Basic 3, it was old book but it was useful.
    • These was internet service in my brother office and he was download webpages from internet for me.
    • Sometimes I went to nearest city from me for internet coffee to download webpages and storing them in floppy disk to read them later, because one hour of the service is really expensive so it was difficult to read them in the internet coffee and I read them later on home.
    • It is amusing and sad at the time that some of the floppy disks sometimes damaged before I copy its contents.
    • At secondary school I got internet service on my home but it was slowly and costly , but it was my best period in my learning journey of computer sciences and programming , my programming skills improved and I learnt many programming languages including web development programming languages.
    • I developed website for my school, and I helped to establish LAN Network for "The Learning Resource Center" and given the students ability to use internet service from one resource (Dial-UP) and ability to share in one printer (USB), and a lot of students have benefited from these services.
  • I graduated from high school at a rate of 89% and my QIYAS score is 81 (Over 5% of students in XXXXXXXXX).
    • I had the ability to choose specializations community believes that they are stronger than Computer Science but I decided to choose Computer Science because it what I dote and my ambition is not just bachelor.
    • At 2008 I starts my bachelor in the college of computer science in XXXXXXX University.
    • In my first semester I designed and establish community website for the college of computer science and it was one of most active websites of XXXXXX University.
  • My beginning was good in the first semester I got 4.30 from 5, but in the second semester I agreed with government entity in ministry of health to make project for them, and that take a lot of time and my GPA fell.
  • During third semester I got scholarship form XXXXXXX Foundation, I was one of 120 students, and I suspend my semester because my desire to study abroad but unfortunately, XXXXXXX Foundation has not ratified in its promises, and after pressure from the government, the XXXXXX Foundation gives scholarship to only 20 students and I was not one of them, then I back to complete in XXXXXX university.
  • In 2013 I graduated from XXXXXXX University with 4.26 GPA (Very Good category with 2nd class honor).
    • In same year I entered in the competition of the job Teaching Assistant in XXXXXX University in the college of computer science and information system in computer science department, I was the ninth of 34 competitors in terms of GPA and I won the job because I did well in the theory test and the interview and it was due to my passion in computer science.
  • As a teaching assistant I taught in LAB: Introduction to Computer (16 Hours), Programming 2 (6 Hours) and Internet Technology (2 Hours).
  • I have a profound interest to pursue my studies (Master & PhD) in developed country in computer field and has a highly developed economy and advanced technological infrastructure, I choose to pursue my studies in USA to improve myself and to get more knowledge in my field and to be good stuff member in XXXXXXX University and to serve my community.
  • The XXXXXX Ministry of Higher Education (MOHE) has provided me with a list of distinguished and recommended universities in the Computer field, among which was your university.
  • XXXXXX University (My work) granted me a full scholarship to study in the USA in one of these highly esteemed schools.
  • Therefore, I would like to obtain an admission to the Master program because I believe that computer science master program at your University will prepare me for a successful and challenging career in the computer science field.
  • Since I received some help to write this statement of purpose, I have to Indicate that my English is not good enough and I will need to attend Academic English Program before I begin taking research.
  • For that, my scholarship includes one year of English Language Program that I was granted before the beginning of my studies in the Master program.
  • I hope that you can take that into consideration.
  • In case of favorable decision on my file, I would appreciate

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

  • 제목
  • 문장 1
  • 문장 2
  • 문장 3
    • My educational achievement in the intermediate and secondary school has always been within the range of 83-93%.
      투표하세요!
    • My educational achievement in the intermediate and secondary school has always been within the range of 83-93%.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3
  • 문장 4
    • At intermediate school I began interested in computer and its sciences, I was interested in programming and I starts to learn it using Visual Basic 6.
      투표하세요!
    • At intermediate school I beganfirst became interested in computer and its sciences, I was interested in programming and I starts toed learning it using Visual Basic 6.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4
  • 문장 5
    • I faced many difficulties in my learning journey, the most difficult task was to obtain information because there is no resources in my remote village and there is no services.
      투표하세요!
    • I faced manycame across some difficultiesy in my learning journey, ;the most difficult task was how to obtain information because there is noeither resources nor service in my remote village and there is no services.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5
  • 문장 6
  • 문장 7
    • Fortunately my older brother give me sponsorship and motivate me, he gifts me book about Visual Basic 3, it was old book but it was useful.
      투표하세요!
    • Fortunately my older brother give me sponsorship and motivate me, he gifts mave me the book about Visual Basic 3, it was an old book but it was useful.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • These was internet service in my brother office and he was download webpages from internet for me.
      투표하세요!
    • These was the internet service in my brother's office and he was downloading webpages, from internet, for me.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • Sometimes I went to nearest city from me for internet coffee to download webpages and storing them in floppy disk to read them later, because one hour of the service is really expensive so it was difficult to read them in the internet coffee and I read them later on home.
      투표하세요!
    • Sometimes I went to nearest city from me forto the internet coffeafe to download webpages and to storinge them in floppy disk in order to read them later, becaus. Since one hour of the service is really expensive so, it wais difficult to read them in the internet coffee andafe. So I read them later onat home.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
    • It is amusing and sad at the time that some of the floppy disks sometimes damaged before I copy its contents.
      투표하세요!
    • It is amusing and sad at the same time that some of the floppy disks sometimes are damaged before I copy its contents.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10
  • 문장 11
    • At secondary school I got internet service on my home but it was slowly and costly , but it was my best period in my learning journey of computer sciences and programming , my programming skills improved and I learnt many programming languages including web development programming languages.
      투표하세요!
    • At secondary school I got internet service onat my home, but it was slowly and costly , but i. It was my best period in my learning journey of computer sciences and programming , m. My programming skills improved, and I learnted many programming languages including web development programming languages.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 11ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 11
  • 문장 12
    • I developed website for my school, and I helped to establish LAN Network for "The Learning Resource Center" and given the students ability to use internet service from one resource (Dial-UP) and ability to share in one printer (USB), and a lot of students have benefited from these services.
      투표하세요!
    • I developed website for my school, and I helped to establish LAN Network for "The Learning Resource Center" andin order to given the students ability to use internet service from one resource (Dial-UP) and ability to share in one printer (USB), and a lot of students have benefited from these services.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12
  • 문장 13
  • 문장 14
    • I had the ability to choose specializations community believes that they are stronger than Computer Science but I decided to choose Computer Science because it what I dote and my ambition is not just bachelor.
      투표하세요!
    • I had the ability to choose specializations c. Community believes that they are stronger than Computer Science, but I decided to choose Computer Science because it is what I dotewant and my ambition is not just bachelor.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 14ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 14
  • 문장 15
  • 문장 16
    • In my first semester I designed and establish community website for the college of computer science and it was one of most active websites of XXXXXX University.
      투표하세요!
    • InDuring my first semester I designed and established community website for the college of computer science and it was one of most active websites of XXXXXX University.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 16ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 16
  • 문장 17
    • My beginning was good in the first semester I got 4.30 from 5, but in the second semester I agreed with government entity in ministry of health to make project for them, and that take a lot of time and my GPA fell.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 17ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 17
  • 문장 18
    • During third semester I got scholarship form XXXXXXX Foundation, I was one of 120 students, and I suspend my semester because my desire to study abroad but unfortunately, XXXXXXX Foundation has not ratified in its promises, and after pressure from the government, the XXXXXX Foundation gives scholarship to only 20 students and I was not one of them, then I back to complete in XXXXXX university.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 18ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 18
  • 문장 19
  • 문장 20
    • In same year I entered in the competition of the job Teaching Assistant in XXXXXX University in the college of computer science and information system in computer science department, I was the ninth of 34 competitors in terms of GPA and I won the job because I did well in the theory test and the interview and it was due to my passion in computer science.
      투표하세요!
    • In same year I entered in the competition of the job Teaching Assistant in XXXXXX University in the, college of computer science and information system in, computer science department, I was the ninth of 34 competitors in terms of GPA and. I won the job because I did well in the theory test and the interview and it, which was due to my passion in computer science.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 20ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 20
  • 문장 21
    • As a teaching assistant I taught in LAB: Introduction to Computer (16 Hours), Programming 2 (6 Hours) and Internet Technology (2 Hours).
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 21ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 21
  • 문장 22
    • I have a profound interest to pursue my studies (Master & PhD) in developed country in computer field and has a highly developed economy and advanced technological infrastructure, I choose to pursue my studies in USA to improve myself and to get more knowledge in my field and to be good stuff member in XXXXXXX University and to serve my community.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 22ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 22
  • 문장 23
    • The XXXXXX Ministry of Higher Education (MOHE) has provided me with a list of distinguished and recommended universities in the Computer field, among which was your university.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 23ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 23
  • 문장 24
    • XXXXXX University (My work) granted me a full scholarship to study in the USA in one of these highly esteemed schools.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 24ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 24
  • 문장 25
    • Therefore, I would like to obtain an admission to the Master program because I believe that computer science master program at your University will prepare me for a successful and challenging career in the computer science field.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 25ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 25
  • 문장 26
    • Since I received some help to write this statement of purpose, I have to Indicate that my English is not good enough and I will need to attend Academic English Program before I begin taking research.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 26ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 26
  • 문장 27
    • For that, my scholarship includes one year of English Language Program that I was granted before the beginning of my studies in the Master program.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 27ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 27
  • 문장 28
  • 문장 29