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Selfish (으)로 부터 도착한메세지 - English

  • Some people think that extreme sports help to build character.

  • There are people who assume that extreme sports are a good way of building your character.
  • But could such a statement be actually true?
  • From my point of view, I believe that, if one pursues the aim of being firmer with his mind, it is better to find another way to do it.
  • Firstly, it is very risky: besides the fact you can harm yourself, you can also harm your friends’ and relatives’ feelings by this.
  • What is more, there are plenty of people who have gained a lot without even knowing about these kinds of sport.
  • They read or write, teach or learn, discover and invent - they self-develop, what, to my mind, is an easier way of building character.
  • Nevertheless, there is a contrary opinion.
  • Many people say that extreme sports can simply make you more confident, determined and brave.
  • However, I disagree with this belief, since, indeed, in order to build character it is not necessary to run such a great risk.
  • Instead, you can always achieve your purpose by not being oblivious to others’ troubles: you can protect those who are weak, old and helpless.
  • Thus, apart from resolving your own problem, it will also be more helpful to others.
  • To sum up, I stress again that there is a countless number of various ways to build your character and one does not always really need to resort to such dangerous kinds of sport.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

  • 제목
  • 문장 1
  • 문장 2
  • 문장 3
    • From my point of view, I believe that, if one pursues the aim of being firmer with his mind, it is better to find another way to do it.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3
  • 문장 4
    • Firstly, it is very risky: besides the fact you can harm yourself, you can also harm your friends’ and relatives’ feelings by this.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4
  • 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • They read or write, teach or learn, discover and invent - they self-develop, what, to my mind, is an easier way of building character.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
  • 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • However, I disagree with this belief, since, indeed, in order to build character it is not necessary to run such a great risk.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
    • Instead, you can always achieve your purpose by not being oblivious to others’ troubles: you can protect those who are weak, old and helpless.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10
  • 문장 11
  • 문장 12
    • To sum up, I stress again that there is a countless number of various ways to build your character and one does not always really need to resort to such dangerous kinds of sport.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12