Corrections

Text from Dayuna - English

  • Timeless

    • On the airport of Michigan, a young woman is waiting.
    • She looks like worried, and doesn't know where she will go.
    • On his head, a thousands of things shove ; she thinks to her family, her friends, who she'll not see during a long time.
    • She did well to leave her country for France ?
    • She was right to hope a better life over here ?
    • “ Yes, I have need of that.” try to convince herself.
    • And it's with the muddled mind who she climbs on the airplanes.
    • At the same time, somewhere in a little city of France.
    • Jess knocks at the door of the bathroom.
    • Jess : Kim, open this door !
    • Kim : Two minutes please.
    • A bell ring, Jess sighs, and go down. Claire : Hi ! I'm Claire.
    • Jess : Oh Claire, come in.
    • At the moment, Kim is going out the bathroom, she is very pretty whereas Jess is again in stuff of night, and Erwan is sitting on the armchair with a newspaper.
    • Claire enters in the living room, and she begins to presents herself. Claire Eh.. Hi !
    • I'm Claire, your new flatmate.
    • I come from America and..
    • Kim : Hello darling, I'm glad to meet you !
    • My name's Kimberly, but call me Kim.
    • I come from Australia, but I live in France since two years, thanks to my parents, who are very rich.
    • Jess shakes one's hand.
    • Jess : Hi, I'm Jess, and here is my brother.
    • Erwan, on his armchair, is reading a newspaper, raises his head and says : Good Morning.
    • Kim : Take your suitcase, I will show your bedroom.
    • She returns toward Jess : And you, you have to prepare. Hurry up !
    • When they arrive at the high school, the secretary shout at them : Eh guys !
  • They stare at each over.
    • Erwan : Oh oh...
    • They join the old woman, who announces them : The director want to see you.
    • The secretary drives them in the director's office and asks them to wait patiently until the director arrives.
    • In the centre of the room, there is a large desk in wood, overcast of papers with the old computer, whose state much to be desired.
    • Jess stays motionless, until she finds a red velvet sofa, on which she takes her place with disregard.
  • Her brother, him, walks on shelves and reads titer's book almost deleted of each book.
    • Kim looks like impatient, paces up and down.
    • Like for takes charge of something, she begin to groan : This room needs to a new decoration...
  • And I don't talk about housework.
    • A few minutes passed and the director not yet present, Kim gets impatient. Kim : So !
  • Erwan : Don't be so impatient Kim.
    • Kim : Yes but we must come back at home and..
  • Claire interrupts them : What is it ?
  • The young woman goes forward the shelf and stops in front of a book.
  • Erwan comes undone of his books and joins her. Erwan : What ? Claire : Here.
  • There is a book..
    • But isn't like others.
  • Kim : A black book. And ?
  • Claire : Come in, look at this.
  • Jess stands up suddenly whereas Kim joins them quickly.
    • She takes the book, and puts on the desk. Jess : Open !
    • Claire opens, and at her surprise, she discovers that pages are white.
  • Claire : Gosh..
  • Suddenly, a map appears, and deletes a few seconds later.
  • Erwan : It was a plan of this room !
  • Jess : I have seen a cross, just next to...
  • Kim interrupts her, on ironical tone : A cross, of course !
    • Claire : She has right, I have seen too..
    • Claire rushes in the library and turns upside down all the room.
    • Behind her, Erwan tidy each book fallen.
  • Erwan, feering : Heretic ! Carrefully !
  • Jess, immobile, sighs while Kim is making her nail polish.
  • Erwan : Come in !
  • Help me Kim, the director can come one minute to the next !
  • The time stops around them.
    • Theirs eyes snap, theirs hands are on edge and they feel lifted in the air during a few seconds.
  • All things take an other dimension, and the only things whose can remember, was this strange notebook.
  • They land bluntly on the cold hard ground while their eyes can't see during few seconds. Where are we ?
  • Around of them there are ruins, but this place seems familiar.
  • They hear footsteps.
    • In front of them, there are four people, who recognize easily.
  • They can see their older doubles.
  • You are in the future.
  • If you have an idea to improve this story, please contact me.

PLEASE, HELP TO CORRECT EACH SENTENCE! - English