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  • Mini Essay: Children's Time

  • It is believed that children spend too much time in front of TV or computer, so parents should strictly limited that time.
  • I would like to describe problems that children dealing with and ways how it could be to resolve.
  • First of all, when young people occupied TV or online, they are not be able to do their homework.
  • As a result, some of them usually have a low grades at school.
  • Sometimes children are dealing with a stressful content which they saw on TV or online, so they have a sleepiness night and problems with concentration on studying.
  • Therefore, relatives are the only one who could help to manage time and content for their children.
  • In my opinion, parents should use the rule "4-7-12" that means children cannot watch TV till 4 year old, use a mobile phone until 7, and should not use a computer till 12.
  • Consequently adults should study who to block the computer, TV, and even mobile phone, for that purpose they could use special software.
  • In addition, when their children reach age that allows them to spend leisure time with communication devices, parents should set a daily limit for using it.
  • To conclude, because there are many problems with modern children, parents should set control for information and time while their children using electronic devices.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

  • 제목
  • 문장 1
    • It is believed that children spend too much time in front of TV or computer, so parents should strictly limited that time.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1
  • 문장 2
  • 문장 3
  • 문장 4
  • 문장 5
    • Sometimes children are dealing with a stressful content which they saw on TV or online, so they have a sleepiness night and problems with concentration on studying.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5
  • 문장 6
  • 문장 7
    • In my opinion, parents should use the rule "4-7-12" that means children cannot watch TV till 4 year old, use a mobile phone until 7, and should not use a computer till 12.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • Consequently adults should study who to block the computer, TV, and even mobile phone, for that purpose they could use special software.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • In addition, when their children reach age that allows them to spend leisure time with communication devices, parents should set a daily limit for using it.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
    • To conclude, because there are many problems with modern children, parents should set control for information and time while their children using electronic devices.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10