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    • Mini Essay: Prevention of Crimes

    • Nowadays exists so many type of crimes from cyber to terrorism, therefore, it is believed that prevention illegal action is only way to save order and peace in community.
    • On the other hand some people thought that prevention does not solve real problems, because they do not trust in governmental institution and suspect it in manipulation with the information about criminals and terrorists.
    • I would like to describe both points of view and give arguments to support the prevention of crimes.
    • Firstly, it is thought that governments use the money of tax payers to support global companies that selling oil and making weapons.
    • So, lobbyists are made governments to hide under military operation their expansion to new markets in the world.
    • For example it is supposed that wars were happened in Baghdad and Libya in interests of oil companies.
    • Besides, some people believed that prevention helps significantly reduce level of crimes.
    • To illustrate it, in Russia was took the law that forbidden selling alcohol drinks from 10 p.m. to 8 a.m.
    • As a result this prevented some people to make a crime based on effect of alcohol.
    • To conclusion, I believe for prevent crimes governments should create the law which could eliminate the ability to make a crime.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

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  • 문장 1
    • Nowadays exists so many type of crimes from cyber to terrorism, therefore, it is believed that prevention illegal action is only way to save order and peace in community.
      투표하세요!
    • Nowadays exists sSo many types of crimes exist nowadays ranging from cyber-crime to terrorism, therefore, i. It is believed that preventiong such illegal action is only way to save order and peace invities is the only way to maintain law and order in our community.ies.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1
  • 문장 2
    • On the other hand some people thought that prevention does not solve real problems, because they do not trust in governmental institution and suspect it in manipulation with the information about criminals and terrorists.
      투표하세요!
    • On the other handHowever some people thoughtbelieve that prevention does not really solve any real problems, because they do not trust in governmental institution and suspect it in manipulation with the information about criminof some powerful governments that abuse their power by supporting illegals and terroristctivities.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2
  • 문장 3
    • I would like to describe both points of view and give arguments to support the prevention of crimes.
      투표하세요!
    • I would like to describe booutline, briefly, the points of view and give arguments to support the prevention of crimes.ros and cons of preventing such crimes from taking place.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3
  • 문장 4
    • Firstly, it is thought that governments use the money of tax payers to support global companies that selling oil and making weapons.
      투표하세요!
    • Firstly, it is thoughtbelieved that governments use the money of tax payers money to support global companies that selling oil and makinge weapons.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4
  • 문장 5
    • So, lobbyists are made governments to hide under military operation their expansion to new markets in the world.
      투표하세요!
    • So,This means that these lobbyists are made up governments tohat hide under military operation theirfalse pretense as military operations with the goal of expansionding to new world markets in the world.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • For example it is supposed that wars were happened in Baghdad and Libya in interests of oil companies.
      투표하세요!
    • ForAn example it is supposedare thate wars were happened in Baghdad and Libya in interests of oil companiesin countries like Libya were oil reserves are in abundance.
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
    • Besides, some people believed that prevention helps significantly reduce level of crimes.
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    • Besides,On the other hand some people believare convinced that prevention helps significantly in reduceing levels of crimes.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • To illustrate it, in Russia was took the law that forbidden selling alcohol drinks from 10 p.m. to 8 a.m.
      투표하세요!
    • To illustrate it, in Russia was took theFor example, in Russia a law that forbiddenade the selling of alcoholic drinks from 10 p.m. to 8 a.m.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • As a result this prevented some people to make a crime based on effect of alcohol.
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    • As a result this prevented some people to make a crime based on effect of alcoholThis assists in preventing the levels of crimes commited under the influence.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
    • To conclusion, I believe for prevent crimes governments should create the law which could eliminate the ability to make a crime.
      투표하세요!
    • ToIn conclusion, I believe for prevent crimes governments should create the law which could eliminate the ability to make a crimewould like to urge the all governments to implement laws that would leave no room for any type of illegal activity.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10