Language/French/Grammar/Vous-and-Tu-Complete-Guide

Knowing when to use YOU or TU in French can be a real headache.

This guide will help you see more clearly.

We will list the situations where you must use the polite form VOUS and those where it is preferable to use the unformal form TU.

Basic rule

VOUS

For any type of formal situation when you don’t know the person well. When in doubt, use vous!

TU

For familiar situations with friends and family and those you know reasonably well, and for those who have accepted the usage of TU.

Complete list of situation

Speakers	Form of address used	Comments
Family members	tu	Family members pretty automatically use tu between one another. So a 3-year-old child would normally use "tu" to his 80-year-old grandmother.
Speakers aged 15-30	Generally tu	Generally, adults up to the age of about 30 (and often up to 40) automatically use tu unless another factor (e.g. a junior worker talking to their boss) provokes vous. Conversely, close solidarity (a 20-year-old and 50-year-old in the same job) could extend this age range.
Adult to child	Often tu unless a specific social barrier demands vous.	Generally, somebody above the age of about 15 would automatically use tu to somebody below the age of 15. For speakers around the age of 15, this is essentially an extension of the previous observation.
Young child to adult	vous	A young child (up to about 10) talking to an adult (aged about 15 onwards) would commonly use vous.
Child to child	tu	Children under the age of about 15 will automatically use tu to one another.
Colleagues	Generally tu, or vous when there is a marked difference in hierarchy	Generally, colleagues would use tu to one another. But, for example, a teacher talking to the headmaster, or a junior office worker talking to their boss or somebody important in the company, would be likely to use vous. It would also be normal for the boss to use vous back to the junior colleague. Particular workplaces can also have particular protocols (just as in English-speaking companies there may be a protocol as to whether people are addressed on first name terms).
Pupil to teacher	vous	This is an analoguous situation to the 'hierarchy gap' mentioned above.
Teacher to primary school pupil	tu	To young children in any social situation, tu is generally used.
Teacher to older pupil	Often vous	It is not uncommon for teachers to use vous to pupils from the age of about 13, possibly as a way of 'distancing themselves' socially from the pupil.
Participants in on-line forums, Internet Relay Chat etc	Generally tu	The tendancy to use tu in these non face-to-face situations appears to be stronger than in face-to-face situations.
New business contacts	vous initially, then often tu	New contacts meeting or exchanging e-mails for the first time would generally use vous. If a close working relationship was forged, then it would be common for one party to suggest using tu.
Speaker A treating speaker B with contempt (e.g. because B has just crashed into A's car).	Often tu	When a speaker wants to be deliberately disrespectful to somebody (e.g. because they're annoyed with them), they can deliberately 'break' the social barrier and use tu where vous would otherwise be expected.

Funny diagram

This funny diagram exaggeratesly shows how difficult it can be to choose between TU or YOU.

Source: https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-og-bastile-vous-tu-20140711-htmlstory.html

Sources

http://www.french-linguistics.co.uk/grammar/tu_and_vous.shtml

https://www.ouiinfrance.com/difference-between-tu-and-vous-in-french/

https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-og-bastile-vous-tu-20140711-htmlstory.html