Difference between revisions of "Language/English/Vocabulary/Humor"
m (Quick edit) |
|||
| (4 intermediate revisions by 2 users not shown) | |||
| Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
[[File:mousman.gif|thumb | [[File:mousman.gif|thumb]] | ||
= | <div class="pg_page_title"> Jokes to share with friends</div> | ||
Understanding and saying jokes is an excellent way to improve your language skills. | |||
Feel free to edit this page by adding more jokes and funny stories. | |||
==Q and A== | |||
Q: What goes up and down but does not move? | Q: What goes up and down but does not move? | ||
| Line 53: | Line 59: | ||
A: Because the bed won't come to you! | A: Because the bed won't come to you! | ||
==AT SCHOOL== | |||
*Teacher: “Give me a sentence starting with the letter ‘I'”. | |||
*Pupil: “I is-“ | |||
*Teacher: “No, you must always say ‘I am’.” | |||
*Pupil: “Okay, ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet’.” | |||
==PUNCTUATION== | |||
*An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: “woman without her man is nothing”. The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. | |||
*The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.” | |||
*The women wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.” | |||
==SMART BOY== | |||
*Father: Son, what are your results in the end of term examination? | |||
*Son: Underwater. | |||
*Father: What do you mean, underwater? | |||
*Son: Below “C” level. | |||
==ESKIMO== | |||
*1st Eskimo: Where did your mother come from? | |||
*2nd Eskimo: Alaska* | |||
*1st Eskimo: Don’t bother, I’ll ask her myself! | |||
==DON’T GENERALIZE== | |||
In a school in the States, the teacher had just described Christopher Columbus’ discovery of America. | |||
“Just imagine, children, if he had not risked the ocean, you would not be here today. Wasn’t he marvellous?” | |||
All the children cheered, except one. | |||
“Aren’t you pleased young fellow?” | |||
“No miss.” | |||
“Why?” | |||
“I’m an Indian.” | “I’m an Indian.” | ||
==SCOTSMAN== | |||
McTavish, a Scotsman*, went to a ski resort. He told the instructor, | McTavish, a Scotsman*, went to a ski resort. He told the instructor, | ||
“I want to learn to ski on one leg.” | “I want to learn to ski on one leg.” | ||
“Certainly sir, but why?” | “Certainly sir, but why?” | ||
“I’ll only need to hire one ski.” | “I’ll only need to hire one ski.” | ||
==POSTMAN== | |||
Postman: Is this letter for you? The name is smudged. | Postman: Is this letter for you? The name is smudged. | ||
Man: No, it can’t be for me, my name is Smith | Man: No, it can’t be for me, my name is Smith | ||
==DARK HUMOR== | |||
What’s better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag? | What’s better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag? | ||
1 dead baby in 10 bags. | 1 dead baby in 10 bags. | ||
==Other Lessons== | |||
* [[Language/English/Vocabulary/longest-word|longest word]] | |||
* [[Language/English/Vocabulary/Top-1000-Spiritual-quotes|Top 1000 Spiritual quotes]] | |||
* [[Language/English/Vocabulary/As-long-as|As long as]] | |||
* [[Language/English/Vocabulary/Common-Acronyms-Social-Media-SMS|Common Acronyms Social Media SMS]] | |||
* [[Language/English/Vocabulary/Useful-English-Acronyms-and-Abbreviations|Useful English Acronyms and Abbreviations]] | |||
* [[Language/English/Vocabulary/Words-ending-with-the-suffix-less|Words ending with the suffix less]] | |||
* [[Language/English/Vocabulary/Phrasal-Verbs-UP!|Phrasal Verbs UP!]] | |||
* [[Language/English/Vocabulary/How-to-Write-a-Good-CV|How to Write a Good CV]] | |||
* [[Language/English/Vocabulary/English-words-of-Arabic-origin|English words of Arabic origin]] | |||
* [[Language/English/Vocabulary/As-usual|As usual]] | |||
<span links></span> | |||
Latest revision as of 22:01, 26 March 2023
Understanding and saying jokes is an excellent way to improve your language skills.
Feel free to edit this page by adding more jokes and funny stories.
Q and A[edit | edit source]
Q: What goes up and down but does not move?
A: Stairs
Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
A: I will meet you at the corner.
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel.
Q: Why do bicycles fall over?
A: Because they are two-tired!
Q: Why do dragons sleep during the day?
A: So they can fight knights!
Q: What part of the car is the laziest?
A: The wheels, because they are always tired!
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: Stick with me and we will go places!
Q: Why was everyone so tired on April 1st?
A: They had just finished a March of 31 days.
Q: Which hand is it better to write with?
A: Neither, it's best to write with a pen!
Q: Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
A: He wanted to find Pluto!
Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck!
Q: What kind of car does Mickey Mouse's wife drive?
A: A minnie van!
Q: Why do you go to bed every night?
A: Because the bed won't come to you!
AT SCHOOL[edit | edit source]
- Teacher: “Give me a sentence starting with the letter ‘I'”.
- Pupil: “I is-“
- Teacher: “No, you must always say ‘I am’.”
- Pupil: “Okay, ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet’.”
PUNCTUATION[edit | edit source]
- An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: “woman without her man is nothing”. The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.
- The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”
- The women wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”
SMART BOY[edit | edit source]
- Father: Son, what are your results in the end of term examination?
- Son: Underwater.
- Father: What do you mean, underwater?
- Son: Below “C” level.
ESKIMO[edit | edit source]
- 1st Eskimo: Where did your mother come from?
- 2nd Eskimo: Alaska*
- 1st Eskimo: Don’t bother, I’ll ask her myself!
DON’T GENERALIZE[edit | edit source]
In a school in the States, the teacher had just described Christopher Columbus’ discovery of America.
“Just imagine, children, if he had not risked the ocean, you would not be here today. Wasn’t he marvellous?”
All the children cheered, except one.
“Aren’t you pleased young fellow?”
“No miss.”
“Why?”
“I’m an Indian.”
SCOTSMAN[edit | edit source]
McTavish, a Scotsman*, went to a ski resort. He told the instructor,
“I want to learn to ski on one leg.”
“Certainly sir, but why?”
“I’ll only need to hire one ski.”
POSTMAN[edit | edit source]
Postman: Is this letter for you? The name is smudged.
Man: No, it can’t be for me, my name is Smith
DARK HUMOR[edit | edit source]
What’s better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag?
1 dead baby in 10 bags.
Other Lessons[edit | edit source]
- longest word
- Top 1000 Spiritual quotes
- As long as
- Common Acronyms Social Media SMS
- Useful English Acronyms and Abbreviations
- Words ending with the suffix less
- Phrasal Verbs UP!
- How to Write a Good CV
- English words of Arabic origin
- As usual