DA RESPUESTAS - English

100% GOOD (3 votes)ContestadoCuestión Lingüística
Hello. I have a narrative paragraph assignment. Can you check the paragraph and write down its deficiencies and what should I add?(My native language is not English. I may have written badly.)

The event I had 5 years ago was the most unforgettable experience of my life. One day, I walked slowly to the bus stop at the end of the street. I was quite absent-minded. However, to cross the street, I looked carefully both ways because my father warned me before and I crossed the road.  in the meantime, I was thinking about the accident that happened last night. I passed a garbage can that smelt bad enough to make my face grimace. A few minutes later I was startled by the barking of the pack of dogs and saw them running towards me. Coupled with fear, my heart was pounding. I held my breath unnoticed, all I could think of was my family and `` who would take care of my bird? ''. Then, with a sudden adrenaline rush, I started running with a heavy bag on my back, not knowing where I was going. The dog pack was barking at the same time as chasing me. At first, I thought of calling my mother for help, but unfortunately, I didn't even have time to look at my phone. I shouted and asked the people around me for help. The pack of dogs followed me 2 streets. My leg was sore like it would break off and I was tired now. A man who heard my screams rescued me. To summarize briefly, that day was a terrible day that I wanted to forget but could not forget.


PS: Delve into these free English learning lessons: Article: AirportAlphabet and Pronunciation“In the office” or “at the office”Countable and Uncountable Nouns

DA RESPUESTAS

will_stewa profile picture will_stewaMay 2021
That is very well written. Here is one correction (Inserting two commas.); I looked carefully both ways, because my father warned me before, and I crossed the road. You need to separate the thought from the subsequent action.