Vastake - English

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Hi! Can anybody help me? I did an Essay about "Friendship"

“Once in a life time”

In this text I would like to talk about my best friend: Fernanda. She is 21 years old, she was born in México. She studies Internatinal ReIations. I call her “Little Fer” because she is the smallest person that I have seen.

I have known Fer since 5 years ago. I met her in my first year of high school and then we started our friendship. We can do all together, dance for example. We share the same kind of music, both we love swimming. I remember once, we went to Selva Mágica and we jumped the “SkyCoaster”.

Before, we met each other twice a month, and now for our degrees we try to chat, and occasionally we use the phone to communicate one by one. In this moments of my life I need and miss her so much. I say “thank God for meeting her” because she offers me a true friendship. I realised that she is a person with many qualities: She is loyal, optimistic, sociable and my confident. She believes in God too. Anyway, she has given me her support, her advice and the time to grow our friendship.


PS: Delve into these free English learning lessons: Module: Most Common Greek RootsAppearPhrasal Verbs UP!When use If or Whether

Vastake

exRanger profile picture exRangerSeptember 2019
I'll offer a few suggested editorial changes:

1. "I have known Fer since 5 years ago." - I suggest you reword this as "I have known Fer for five years." (note: in English composition, one should write out the numbers one through nine in word style; for the numbers 10 and higher it is acceptable to simply use "the numeral form of the number, e.g., "15", rather than the word "fifteen".

2. "I met her in my first year of high school and then we started our friendship." - Suggest changing this only slightly to "I met her in my first year of high school and we became friends."

3. "We can do all together, dance for example." - Better this way: "We do everything together, even dancing."

4. "We share the same kind of music, both we love swimming." - Let's try this: "We share the same kind of music, both we love swimming." - Try this: We love the same kind of music and we both love to swim."

5. "Before, we met each other twice a month, and now for our degrees we try to chat, and occasionally we use the phone to communicate one by one. In this moments of my life I need and miss her so much." - Better: "Before we parted ways to work on our degrees, we met twice a month. Now we try to stay in touch via "chat" and the occasional phone call. At this time in my life I miss and need her so much."

6. "I say “thank God for meeting her” because she offers me a true friendship." - Better: "I thank God that I met her; she offers for me true friendship."

7. "I realised that she is a person with many qualities: She is loyal, optimistic, sociable and my confident." - A few suggested changes: "I realise (or "realize" American spelling) that she has many fine qualities, including loyalty, optimism, sociability, and confidence." (note: unless you intended to express that she serves as your "confidant", in which instance you should make mention of that element in an entirely new sentence)

8. "She believes in God too." - Try this: She also believes in God."

9. "Anyway, she has given me her support, her advice and the time to grow our friendship." - Suggest slight modification: In any case, she has lent me her support, given me advice, and made time for us to grow our friendship."
Mozez profile picture MozezJanuary 2016
i suggest you change the sentence' we share the same kind of music, both we love swimming' to 'We both have interest in the same genre of music and we both love swimming.'
henery23 profile picture henery23January 2024

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jamis profile picture jamisApril 2023

For those in community or public health, the topics in this article will be nothing new-but as busy professionals ourselves, we often find it helpful to be reminded of the basic premises of our chosen fields. It's so easy in our hectic-and very important-drive to complete work tasks that we lose sight of those core values for which we strive.

 

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masonwilson profile picture masonwilsonFebruary 2023
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