수정본

polinazhdanova (으)로 부터 도착한메세지 - English

  • How can the text below be improved and corrected? Thank you.

    • Introduction This week we were focused on learning about social entrepreneurs and the contribution of their work to the economy and society.
    • Social entrepreneur practice is an implementation of business strategies and knowledge in the non-profit sector for improving human wellbeing, creating social changes, and bettering the economy at large.
    • Being a social entrepreneur means putting the interests of your community ahead of economic benefits.
    • One of the examples of a social entrepreneur whose performance results we studied this week is an economist and banker Muhammad Yunus from Bangladesh.
    • Muhammad Yunus best know for his micro-financial and educational initiatives toward poor people.
    • When he was visiting one of the poorest villages of Bangladesh and observing how people work there he discovered that even tiny loans could make a change for those people in order to fight poverty and hunger.
    • At that date, commercial banks in Bangladesh did not want to give small amounts of money to poor people even at a decent interest because they were afraid of non-return of funds.
    • In order to prove his assumption, he lent his own savings to a group of women so they can buy bamboo for furniture production and make a profit.
    • This marked the beginning of the success of the Grameen bank that Muhammad Yunus founded later and the microfinance model.
    • I believe that he has been highlighted as a “hero” for a reason.
    • Three is no doubt that it takes courage, knowledge, and unbreakable faith in what you are doing when you try to make a positive change not for a sake of money but at the call of your soul.
    • It is very difficult day after day to try to defend your point of view and continue to believe in the necessity and correctness of your intentions.
    • It is difficult to convince people with influence and money to pay attention to what you are doing.
    • It’s hard not to see tangible progress and not give up when things go wrong.
  • It is difficult to change the norms that have developed in society over the years.
    • As for Muhammad himself, on the way to implement his idea of microcrediting poor citizens, he resisted criticism from the media, politicians, and other businessmen.
    • And even after years of existence of his bank for the poor, which was one of his businesses, he was accused of being a deceiver and trying to make money from the poor as all microfinance organizations do.
    • Conclusion The importance of Muhammad Yunus’s contribution to the expansion of entrepreneurship and the effect of entrepreneurship on the global economy observed in the following ; First, by giving loans for poor people, not just to cover their consumption needs, but for buying materials and instruments in order to produce something and gain profit from it he gave impetus to the development of small businesses and handicrafts.
    • Аnd this, in turn, helped people start living better and gain control over their financial situation.
    • Examples of those people inspired others to start their own businesses.
  • Second, by educating people about finances he helped to reduce poverty in his country.
    • Third, Muhammad Yunus’s practice of microfinancing poor people had spreader across other developing countries which helped to foster the growth of those economies.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

  • 제목
  • 문장 1
    • Introduction This week we were focused on learning about social entrepreneurs and the contribution of their work to the economy and society.
      투표하세요!
    • Introduction ¶


      This week we were
      focused on learning about social entrepreneurs and their contribution of their works to the economy and to society.
    • Introduction ¶


      This week we
      were focused on learning about social entrepreneurs and their contribution of their work to the economy and society.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1
  • 문장 2
    • Social entrepreneur practice is an implementation of business strategies and knowledge in the non-profit sector for improving human wellbeing, creating social changes, and bettering the economy at large.
      투표하세요!
    • Social entrepreneur practiceship is an implementation of business strategies and knowledge in the non-profit sector for the purpose of improving human wellbeing, creatinducing social changeprogress, and betterimproving the economy at large.
    • Social entrepreneurial practice is anthe implementation of business strategies and knowledge in the non-profit sector forin order to improvinge human well being, creating social changes, and bettering the economy at large, and create social change.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 2
  • 문장 3
    • Being a social entrepreneur means putting the interests of your community ahead of economic benefits.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • Being a social entrepreneur means putting the interests of your community ahead of economic benefirst instead of profits.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3
  • 문장 4
    • One of the examples of a social entrepreneur whose performance results we studied this week is an economist and banker Muhammad Yunus from Bangladesh.
      투표하세요!
    • One of the examples of a social entrepreneur whose performance results we studied this week is anwas the Bangladeshi economist and banker Muhammad Yunus from Bangladesh.
    • One of thesuch examples of a social entrepreneur whose performance results w we have studied this week is anthe economist and banker Muhammad Yunus from Bangladesh.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4
  • 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • When he was visiting one of the poorest villages of Bangladesh and observing how people work there he discovered that even tiny loans could make a change for those people in order to fight poverty and hunger.
      투표하세요!
    • When he wasDuring a visiting to one of the poorest villages ofin Bangladesh and observing how people work there he discovered that even tiny loans could make a change for those people in order to fight poverty and hunger.go far in helping improve the lives of the inhabitants.
    • When he was visiting one of the poorest villages of Bangladesh and observing how people work there he discovered that even tiny loans could make a change for those people in order toassist villagers in fighting poverty and hunger.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
    • At that date, commercial banks in Bangladesh did not want to give small amounts of money to poor people even at a decent interest because they were afraid of non-return of funds.
      투표하세요!
    • At that date time, commercial banks in Bangladesh did not want to giwere apprehensive about lending even small amounts of money to poor people even at at decent interest rates because they were afraid of non-return of funddefaults.
    • At that datePreviously, commercial banks in Bangladesh did not want to givelend small amounts of money to poor people even at a decentlow interest rates because they were afraid of non-return of fundloan defaults.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • In order to prove his assumption, he lent his own savings to a group of women so they can buy bamboo for furniture production and make a profit.
      투표하세요!
    • In order to prove his assumptithem wrong, he lent his own savings to a group of women so they canould buy bamboo for furniture production and make a profit.
    • In order to provetest his assumption, he lent his own savings to a group of women so they canould buy bamboo for furniture production andin order to make a profit.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • This marked the beginning of the success of the Grameen bank that Muhammad Yunus founded later and the microfinance model.
      투표하세요!
    • This marked the beginning of the success of the Grameen bBank that, founded by Muhammad Yunus founded later, and the microfinance model.
    • This marked the beginnings of the success of the Grameen bBank thatwhich Muhammad Yunus later founded later and the basis of his microfinance model.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
  • 문장 11
    • Three is no doubt that it takes courage, knowledge, and unbreakable faith in what you are doing when you try to make a positive change not for a sake of money but at the call of your soul.
      투표하세요!
    • Three is no doubt that it takes courage, knowledge, and unbreakable faith in what you are doing when youto try to make a positive change not for a the sake of money, but at the call of your soulfor a calling.
    • Three is no doubt that it takes courage, knowledge, and unbreakable faith in what you are doing when you try to make a positive change not merely for a the sake of money but at the callgood of your soul.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 11ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 11
  • 문장 12
    • It is very difficult day after day to try to defend your point of view and continue to believe in the necessity and correctness of your intentions.
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ISometimes it is very difficult day after day to try to defend your point of view and continue to believe in the necessity and correctness of your intentions.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12
  • 문장 13
  • 문장 14
  • 문장 15
  • 문장 16
    • As for Muhammad himself, on the way to implement his idea of microcrediting poor citizens, he resisted criticism from the media, politicians, and other businessmen.
      투표하세요!
    • As for Muhammad himself, on the way to implement his idea of microcrediting poor citizens, he resisted he ignored criticism from the media, politicians, and other businessmen.
    • As for Muhammad himself, on the way toduring the implementation of his idea ofor providing microcrediting to poor citizens, he resisted criticism from the media, politicians, and other businessmen.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 16ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 16
  • 문장 17
    • And even after years of existence of his bank for the poor, which was one of his businesses, he was accused of being a deceiver and trying to make money from the poor as all microfinance organizations do.
      투표하세요!
    • And eEven after years of existence of his bank for the poor, which was one of his businesses, he was accused of being a deceiver and trying to make money fromsuccess, he was accused of being a predatory lender trying to profit off the poor as all microfinance organizations do.
    • And even after years of existence of his bank for the poor, which was one of his businesseEven though his bank for the poor has existed for years, he was still accused of being a deceiver and trying to make money from the poor as all microfinance organizations do.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 17ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 17
  • 문장 18
    • Conclusion The importance of Muhammad Yunus’s contribution to the expansion of entrepreneurship and the effect of entrepreneurship on the global economy observed in the following ; First, by giving loans for poor people, not just to cover their consumption needs, but for buying materials and instruments in order to produce something and gain profit from it he gave impetus to the development of small businesses and handicrafts.
      투표하세요!
    • Conclusion ¶

      The importance of Muhammad Yunus’s contribution to the expansion of entrepreneurship and the effect of entrepreneurship on the global economy
      are observed in the following ;:
      First, by
      givproviding loans forto poor people, to not just to cover their consumptionbasic needs, but foralso to buying materials and instru, tools, and equipments in order to produce something and gainmake a profit from it he gave impetus tosparked the development of small businesses and handicrafts.
    • Conclusions

      The importance of Muhammad Yunus’s
      contribution to the expansion of entrepreneurship and theits effect of entrepreneurship on the global economy is observed in theas following ; ¶
      s. First, by giving loans for poor people, in order not just to cover their consumption needs, but also for buying materials and instruments in order to produce something and gain profit from it, he gave impetus to the development of small businesses and, such as in handicrafts.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 18ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 18
  • 문장 19
    • Аnd this, in turn, helped people start living better and gain control over their financial situation.
      투표하세요!
    • Аnd tThis, in turn, helpeds people start living better and gain control over their financial situationimprove their standard of living.
    • Аnd this, in turn, helpedassists people start living better andin improving their living standards while at the same time gaining control over their financial situation.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 19ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 19
  • 문장 20
  • 문장 21
  • 문장 22
    • Third, Muhammad Yunus’s practice of microfinancing poor people had spreader across other developing countries which helped to foster the growth of those economies.
      투표하세요!
    • Third, Muhammad Yunus’s practice of microfinancing poor people had spreader across to other developing countries, which helped to foster the growth of those economiesose economies improved as result. ¶
    • Third, Muhammad Yunus’s practice of microfinancing poor people had spreader across other developing countries whichand thereby helpeding to foster the growth of thoseeir economies. ¶
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 22ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 22