Pataisymai

Text from polinazhdanova - English

    • How can the text below be improved and corrected? Thank you

    • Not every business that has unique offers such as products or services can sustain itself and produce profit for its stakeholders and founders.
    • There are many reasons that may result in bankruptcy in the end.
    • For example, easily replicated business model, small and slow-growing market, mismanagement and disagreement between stakeholders, lack of funding, market entry are too early or too late, strong competitors with a wide market share and inability to compete with their prices, etc. My example of a business that has failed is a Russian start-up online banking product called Rocket bank.
    • I had the privilege to observe its life cycle from almost the very begging as a client and as a good friend of one of the company’s employees.
    • When Rocket bank enter the market it was a real revolution in the banking and finance sector.
    • During their first two years of existence, they were quickly attracting new users through creative marketing, favorable terms of service for their clients, a revolutionary mobile app that gave a unique user experience.
  • As one of the examples, they were the first financial product in 2016 in Russia that offered to its clients 1 % cashback for every purchase paid by their debit card.
    • The cashback could be converted to real money, not just a discount at a partner’s stores as other banks offered.
    • They had a referral program with terms that every existent client might give a unique link to his friend or colleague and if this person issue a debit card the referral would get 500 rubles which equaled around 8 American dollars.
    • And since the main market, they were focused on consisted of young people age 18 to 30.
    • For the auditory with medium, low, or even no income, simply because of their age and working experience, it was attracting and catchy marketing strategy which helped to expand Rocket bank’s customer base.
    • Also, their mobile app was not just cutting-edge, it was a sensation on a market.
    • A user was able to customize it and get funny voice notifications from Rick and Morty cartoon or Transformers movie when he made a purchase or withdraw money from an ATM.
    • In a mobile app, you might convert currencies, set financial goals, and get immediate help from support about any concern.
    • They were getting market share and brand recognition very fast.
    • The problem emerged when the second commercial bank they recently become a part of fell under the reorganization of the central bank of Russia.
    • This made customers of Rocket bank think of the safety of their funds.
    • After the default in Russia in the 90s, the citizens of my country are trying to be careful about their savings and are very suspicious of financial institutions without state participation.
    • In addition, 5 years ago, several commercial banks had their licenses revoked at once, and people had problems with withdrawing money from their accounts.
    • Thus, it is not difficult to guess, there was an outflow of clients from the Rocket bank.
    • Within a year the project was bought by a fast payments system called Qiwi.
    • Qiwi has been spending a huge amount of money to keep the project afloat.
    • Rocket bank was not a private bank itself.
    • They always were a part of another bank with a license, their financial product line had no opportunity for expansion while average commercial banks could offer loans, credit lines, individual investment, and brokerage accounts.
    • After a year of investment in marketing, development, and other stuff Qiwi decided to sell unprofitable Rocket bank, but eventually, no one wanted to buy it.
    • After all, Qiwi decided to restructure and close the project and agreed with one of its main competitors, Tinkoff Bank, on the comfortable transition conditions for Rocket Bank clients.
    • To be honest, I have never understood how Rocket bank was going to gain profit.
    • Based on the materials that I found on the Internet, it seems Rocket bank has never been a profitable business, they only spent the money of their investors, including the banks of which they were a part.

PLEASE, HELP TO CORRECT EACH SENTENCE! - English

  • Title
  • Sentence 1
  • Sentence 2
  • Sentence 3
    • For example, easily replicated business model, small and slow-growing market, mismanagement and disagreement between stakeholders, lack of funding, market entry are too early or too late, strong competitors with a wide market share and inability to compete with their prices, etc. My example of a business that has failed is a Russian start-up online banking product called Rocket bank.
      Balsuok dabar!
    • For example, an easily replicated business model, a small and slow-growing market, mismanagement and disagreement between stakeholders, lack of funding, market entry arethat is too early or too late, strong competitors with a wide market share, and inability to compete with theircompetitors’ prices, etc. ¶


      My example of a business that has failed is a Russian
      start-up online -banking productconcern called Rocket bBank.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 3
  • Sentence 4
  • Sentence 5
  • Sentence 6
    • During their first two years of existence, they were quickly attracting new users through creative marketing, favorable terms of service for their clients, a revolutionary mobile app that gave a unique user experience.
      Balsuok dabar!
    • During their first two years of existence, they were quickly attractinged new customers through creative marketing, offering favorable terms of service forto their clients, and presenting a revolutionary mobile app that gaveoffered their cutomers a unique user experience.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 6
  • Sentence 7
    • As one of the examples, they were the first financial product in 2016 in Russia that offered to its clients 1 % cashback for every purchase paid by their debit card.
      Balsuok dabar!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 7
  • Sentence 8
    • The cashback could be converted to real money, not just a discount at a partner’s stores as other banks offered.
      Balsuok dabar!
    • Their cashback program could be converted into real money, not just amerely discounts at a partner’s stores as other banks offereding establishements, as is the case with most banks' programs.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 8
  • Sentence 9
    • They had a referral program with terms that every existent client might give a unique link to his friend or colleague and if this person issue a debit card the referral would get 500 rubles which equaled around 8 American dollars.
      Balsuok dabar!
    • They had aUnder the terms of their referral program with terms that every, their existenting client might give a unique link to his friend or colleague and if this person issue a debit card the referral would get 500 rubles which equaled around 8 American dollarss received 500 rubles (around 8 US dollars) for each referral resulting in issuance of a debit card to a new customer.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 9
  • Sentence 10
  • Sentence 11
    • For the auditory with medium, low, or even no income, simply because of their age and working experience, it was attracting and catchy marketing strategy which helped to expand Rocket bank’s customer base.
      Balsuok dabar!
    • For the auditory with medium, low, or even no income, simply because of their age and working experience, it was attracting and catchy marketing strategy which helped to expand Rocket bank’sTheir marketing strategy was particularly effective at attracting a customer base of low, medium and even zero income youths, thus rapidly expanding their total customer base.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 11ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 11
  • Sentence 12
  • Sentence 13
    • A user was able to customize it and get funny voice notifications from Rick and Morty cartoon or Transformers movie when he made a purchase or withdraw money from an ATM.
      Balsuok dabar!
    • A user was able to customize it and get funny voice notifications from One could customize the app to receive amusing notifications from cartoon characters "Rick and Morty" or from chartoon oracters from the Transformers movies when he mademaking a purchase or withdrawing money from an ATM.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 13ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 13
  • Sentence 14
  • Sentence 15
  • Sentence 16
    • The problem emerged when the second commercial bank they recently become a part of fell under the reorganization of the central bank of Russia.
      Balsuok dabar!
    • The problem emBut they encounterged a setback when the second commercial banking enterprise of which they'd recently become a part of fell under thesubject to reorganization ofby the cCentral bBank of Russia.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 16ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 16
  • Sentence 17
  • Sentence 18
    • After the default in Russia in the 90s, the citizens of my country are trying to be careful about their savings and are very suspicious of financial institutions without state participation.
      Balsuok dabar!
    • After the default in RussiaHaving experienced the massive economic decline of the Russian state and economy in the 1990s, the citizens of my countryRussians are trying to be careful about their savings and are very suspicious of financial institutions without state participationthat are not affiliated with the state (government).
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 18ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 18
  • Sentence 19
    • In addition, 5 years ago, several commercial banks had their licenses revoked at once, and people had problems with withdrawing money from their accounts.
      Balsuok dabar!
    • In addition, 5 years ago, several commercial banks had their licenses revoked at once to this, five years ago the licenses of several commercial banks were simultaneously revoked, and people had problems with withdrawing money from their accounts.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 19ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 19
  • Sentence 20
  • Sentence 21
  • Sentence 22
  • Sentence 23
  • Sentence 24
    • They always were a part of another bank with a license, their financial product line had no opportunity for expansion while average commercial banks could offer loans, credit lines, individual investment, and brokerage accounts.
      Balsuok dabar!
    • They always were a parrather, they were always a component of another bank with a license, and thus their financial product line had no opportunity for expansion while averageereas typical commercial banks could offer loans, credit lines, individual investment, and brokerage accounts.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 24ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 24
  • Sentence 25
    • After a year of investment in marketing, development, and other stuff Qiwi decided to sell unprofitable Rocket bank, but eventually, no one wanted to buy it.
      Balsuok dabar!
    • After a year of investment in marketing, and development, and other stuff efforts, Qiwi decided to sell the unprofitable Rocket bBank, but eventually, no one wanted tonly to discover that there were no "buy iters".
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 25ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 25
  • Sentence 26
    • After all, Qiwi decided to restructure and close the project and agreed with one of its main competitors, Tinkoff Bank, on the comfortable transition conditions for Rocket Bank clients.
      Balsuok dabar!
    • After all,In the end Qiwi decided to restructure and close the project and agreedenterprise and struck a deal with one of itsa main competitors, Tinkoff Bank, on the comfortable transition conditions forto assume the accounts -- according to favorable terms -- of the Rocket Bank clientsele.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 26ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 26
  • Sentence 27
  • Sentence 28
    • Based on the materials that I found on the Internet, it seems Rocket bank has never been a profitable business, they only spent the money of their investors, including the banks of which they were a part.
      Balsuok dabar!
    • Based on the materials that Iinformation I have found on the Internet, it seems that Rocket bBank hasd never been a profitable business, they, only spentding the money of theirits investors, including the banks of which they were a part. ¶
      and and their parent banks.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 28ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - Sentence 28