수정본

HELP TO CORRECT NOW!수정

sergei_kho (으)로 부터 도착한메세지 - English

    • It’s motivation letter. I’d like to know if there are mistakes

    • In general, this last-year failure gave me a great motivation and helped me to come to the conclusion I, in fact, want to have a career in HR field and become Head of HR Department.
    • Only taking this job position, I can affect personnel policy and prevent employment discrimination.
    • Before achieving this level, I will acquire competences in such areas as, Compensation and Benefit, Labor Relations, Performance Management.
    • - GKS is one of the tools that will contribute to my future professionalism.
  • Many Korean companies have achieved success in the international market.
  • Their success also depends on the HR policies because employees are the main asset of any organization.
    • Those people who formed these personnel policies have expertise within the Korean management model.
    • At the same time, in my view, due to historical circumstances HR field in Russia still is not as developed as it is in South Korea.
    • Therefore, thanks to the GKS, I will be able to study the Korean management approach and then apply contemporary practices in Russian conditions.
    • My career goal is to be an HR Manager that, indeed, can affect and change personnel policy.
  • So, obtained master’s degree in South Korea will contribute to my professional and personal growth.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

  • 제목
  • 문장 1
    • In general, this last-year failure gave me a great motivation and helped me to come to the conclusion I, in fact, want to have a career in HR field and become Head of HR Department.
      투표하세요!
    • In general, this last-year's failure gave me a great motivation and helped me to come to the conclusion Iwhich , in fact, i wanted to have a career in HR field and become Head of HR Department.
      AlexandraK89AlexandraK89 profile picture 댓글
      투표하세요!
    • In general, this last-year failuree difficult year we all underwent during the previous 12 months gave me a great motivation and helped me to come to the conclusion that I, in fact, want to have a career in the HR field and become Head of HR Department.
      AussieInBgAussieInBg profile picture 댓글 1
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1
  • 문장 2
  • 문장 3
    • Before achieving this level, I will acquire competences in such areas as, Compensation and Benefit, Labor Relations, Performance Management.
      투표하세요!
    • Before achieving this level, I will acquire competences in such areas as, C compensation and Bbenefits, Llabor Rrelations, Pperformance Mmanagement.
      AussieInBgAussieInBg profile picture 댓글
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3
  • 문장 4
  • 문장 5
  • 문장 6
  • 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • At the same time, in my view, due to historical circumstances HR field in Russia still is not as developed as it is in South Korea.
      투표하세요!
    • At the same time, in my view, due to historical circumstances the HR field in Russia still is not as developed as it is in South Korea.
      AussieInBgAussieInBg profile picture 댓글
      100% GOOD (2 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • Therefore, thanks to the GKS, I will be able to study the Korean management approach and then apply contemporary practices in Russian conditions.
      투표하세요!
    • Therefore, thanks to the GKS, I will be able to study the Korean management approach and then apply contemporary practices into Russian conditions.
      AussieInBgAussieInBg profile picture 댓글
      100% GOOD (1 votes)
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
  • 문장 11