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Maryam1987 (으)로 부터 도착한메세지 - English

  • Would you please correct my text? Thank you so much!

  • More and more companies are allowing employees to work at home.
  • Do you this is a positive or negative development?
    • Evidence has displayed that working at home has become popular among the vast majority of jobholders.
    • Clearly, I completely agree with the given statement on basis of this procedure, it would offer many benefits not only to the workers but also to the environment.
    • To begin with, teleworking has many benefits for employees who can stay at home to perform their responsibility.
    • This mode could provide an exceptional opportunity for employees apart from performing their duties; they are able to dedicate sufficient time with their family members.
    • Consider a female employee who has a sick toddler when she arrives at the workplace she is more likely to has a high level of stress, so she cannot do her works efficiently.
    • That is, it is an indisputable fact that commuting is a primary problem for plenty of women who need to leave their children at home and also tolerate crowded public transports to arrive at their office.
    • Therefore, if jobholders implement the donated projects in their own residents, they may escape the probable difficulties, they may encounter an outdoor home.
    • Therefore, they would be able to establish balanced own schedules to meet their combined responsibilities of caring for their family and getting the job done.
    • Furthermore, performing works far from workplaces could have influential impacts on the atmosphere of a metropolis.
    • Indeed, no one denies that private vehicles and public transports are two fundamental agents that are able to pollute the climate of the towns.
    • If governments make regulations for workers to stay at home instead of being present at the office, the number of automobiles on the streets that emission polluting gases may reduce.
    • For example; the mentioned procedure has performed in multiple huge cities in the world, after a short period the travel to workplaces has become decrease following that creating a cleaner and healthier climate for citizens who live in the metropolitan regions.
    • In conclusion, based on the reasons mentioned above, I confirm once again that teleworking offers many advantages for employees who have heavy responsibility at home and also for the metropolitan areas that have polluted weather.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

  • 제목
  • 문장 1
  • 문장 2
  • 문장 3
  • 문장 4
    • Clearly, I completely agree with the given statement on basis of this procedure, it would offer many benefits not only to the workers but also to the environment.
      투표하세요!
    • Clearly, I completely agree with the givenis statement on basis of this procedure, it would offergiven that it clearly demonstrates many benefits not only to the workers but also to the environment.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4
  • 문장 5
    • To begin with, teleworking has many benefits for employees who can stay at home to perform their responsibility.
      투표하세요!
    • To begin with, teleworking has many benefits for employees who can stay at home to perform their work responsibilityies.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • This mode could provide an exceptional opportunity for employees apart from performing their duties; they are able to dedicate sufficient time with their family members.
      투표하세요!
    • This mode couldEmployees are provided with an exceptional opportunity for employees apart from performing their duties; they are able toperforming their normal work duties as well as dedicateing sufficient time withto their family members.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
    • Consider a female employee who has a sick toddler when she arrives at the workplace she is more likely to has a high level of stress, so she cannot do her works efficiently.
      투표하세요!
    • Consider a female employee who has a sick toddler w. When she arrives at ther workplace, she is more likely to hasve a high level of stress, someaning that she cannot do her works efficiently.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • That is, it is an indisputable fact that commuting is a primary problem for plenty of women who need to leave their children at home and also tolerate crowded public transports to arrive at their office.
      투표하세요!
    • That is, iIt is an indisputable fact that commuting is a primary problem for plenty ofmany women who need to leave their children at home and also tolerate. Such women have to suffer crowded public transports to before arriveing at their office.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • Therefore, if jobholders implement the donated projects in their own residents, they may escape the probable difficulties, they may encounter an outdoor home.
      투표하세요!
    • Therefore, if jobholders implement the donatedwork projects in their own residentces, they may escape the probabledemonstrated difficulties, they may encounter an outdoor homoutside.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
    • Therefore, they would be able to establish balanced own schedules to meet their combined responsibilities of caring for their family and getting the job done.
      투표하세요!
    • Therefore, theyConsequently, employees would be better able to establish balanced ownpersonal schedules to meet their combined responsibilities of caring for their family and getting the job done.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10
  • 문장 11
    • Furthermore, performing works far from workplaces could have influential impacts on the atmosphere of a metropolis.
      투표하세요!
    • Furthermore, performing works far from workplaces could have influentialWorking from home could also have substantial positive impacts on the atmosphereir quality of a metropolis.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 11ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 11
  • 문장 12
    • Indeed, no one denies that private vehicles and public transports are two fundamental agents that are able to pollute the climate of the towns.
      투표하세요!
    • Indeed, no one denies that private vehicles and public transports are two fundamental agents that are able to pollute the climate of the towncauses of poor air quality in cities.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12
  • 문장 13
    • If governments make regulations for workers to stay at home instead of being present at the office, the number of automobiles on the streets that emission polluting gases may reduce.
      투표하세요!
    • If governments makcreate regulations for workers to stay at home instead of being present at the office, then the number of automobiles on the streets that emissiont polluting gases may reduce.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 13ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 13
  • 문장 14
    • For example; the mentioned procedure has performed in multiple huge cities in the world, after a short period the travel to workplaces has become decrease following that creating a cleaner and healthier climate for citizens who live in the metropolitan regions.
      투표하세요!
    • For example; the mentioned procedure has performed in multiple, where this has occurred in numerous huge cities inaround the world, then after a short period the, travel to workplaces has become decrease following thatd. This has resulted in creating a cleaner and healthier climate for citizens who live in the metropolitan regions of such cities.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 14ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 14
  • 문장 15
    • In conclusion, based on the reasons mentioned above, I confirm once again that teleworking offers many advantages for employees who have heavy responsibility at home and also for the metropolitan areas that have polluted weather.
      투표하세요!
    • In conclusion, based on the reasons mentioned above, I confirm once againit is obvious that teleworking offers many advantages for employees who have heavysignificant responsibilityies at home and also for the metropolitan areas that have polluted weatherdditionally and significantly reduces air pollution in metropolitan areas. ¶
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 15ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 15