수정본

mamadboss (으)로 부터 도착한메세지 - English

    • would you mind correcting my story

    • This happened to me when I was walking towards a forest park with my friend Masoud in the east of Tehran.
    • It was a long journey and the weather was really hot.
  • The more we walked, the more tired we became.
    • After two hours of brisk walk, I said to my friend: I'm really tired and he said: So am i.
    • So we took a rest near some trees and a gentle breeze blew towards us and cooled us down.
    • Because it was summer and the weather was scorching I opened my backpack to grab my bottle of water and after searching my backpack I realized that I had left my bottle inside the home.
    • I was looking at the sky desperately when my friend shared his bottle with me and as gratitude, I flashed a broad smile at him.
    • Suddenly I spotted a snake behind my friend and I tried to keep a safe distance from it.
    • At that moment I was shocked and a shiver ran through my spine just because I hadn't been ready for it.
    • Although the snake looked harmless and didn't move, I decided to adopt more safety measures through peering at snake and leave it alone.
    • After that to calm my nerves, I took three deep breathes.
    • In the end, I realized that any dangerous creature can exist everywhere s you have to be careful and as a precautionary measure it's better to carry a first-aid pack

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

  • 제목
  • 문장 1
    • This happened to me when I was walking towards a forest park with my friend Masoud in the east of Tehran.
      투표하세요!
    • This happened to me when I was walking towards a forest park in eastern Tehran with my friend Masoud in the east of Tehran.
    • This happened to me when I was walking towards a forest park with my friend Masoud in the east of Tehran.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1
  • 문장 2
  • 문장 3
  • 문장 4
    • After two hours of brisk walk, I said to my friend: I'm really tired and he said: So am i.
      투표하세요!
    • After two hours of brisk walk, I said to my friend: I'm really tired and he said: So am iwalking at a brisk pace, I told Masoud that I was really tired; Masoud replied that he, too, was tired.
    • After two hours of brisk walking, I said to my friend: , "I'm really tired a." And he said: Sreplied, "so am iI".
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 4
  • 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • Because it was summer and the weather was scorching I opened my backpack to grab my bottle of water and after searching my backpack I realized that I had left my bottle inside the home.
      투표하세요!
    • Because it was summer and the weather was scorching hot, I opened my backpack to grabet my bottle of water and, only to realize after searching my backpack I realized that I had left mythe bottle inside theat home.
    • Because it was summer and the weather was scorching, I opened my backpack to grab my bottle of water and, after searching my backpack, I realized that I had left my bottle inside theat home.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
    • I was looking at the sky desperately when my friend shared his bottle with me and as gratitude, I flashed a broad smile at him.
      투표하세요!
    • I was looking at the sky desperately when my friend shared his bottle with me and as gratitude, I flashed a broad smile at him.n desperation I stared into the sky, at which point Masoud offered to share with me his water, causing me to smile.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7
  • 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • At that moment I was shocked and a shiver ran through my spine just because I hadn't been ready for it.
      투표하세요!
    • At that moment I was shocked and; a shiver ran throughdown my spine just because I hadn't been ready for it.it was unexpected.¶

      OR¶

      At that moment I was shocked; a shiver ran through me because it was unexpected.¶
    • At that moment I was shocked and a shiver ran throughdown my spine just because I hadn't been ready for it at all.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
    • Although the snake looked harmless and didn't move, I decided to adopt more safety measures through peering at snake and leave it alone.
      투표하세요!
    • AlthoughWhile the snake looked harmless and didn't move, I decided to adopt more safety measures through peering at snake and leave it aloneremained motionless, I played it safe and did nothing to disturb the snake.¶

      OR¶

      While the snake looked harmless and remained motionless, I played it safe and did nothing to disturb it
      .
    • Although the snake looked harmless and didn't move, I decided to adopt more safety measures through peelike staring at the snake and leaveing it alone.
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 10
  • 문장 11
  • 문장 12
    • In the end, I realized that any dangerous creature can exist everywhere s you have to be careful and as a precautionary measure it's better to carry a first-aid pack
      투표하세요!
    • In the endTo conclude, I realized that any dangerous creature can exist everywhere s you have to beand in many forms, thus one must careful and, as a precautionary measure it's better to carry a , always bring along a first-aid kit.¶

      NOTE: While it is grammatically and even syntactically acceptable to write/use "first-aid pack" in English, but that is NOT what Americans or British will say or write; we always use the expression "
      first-aid packkit".
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 12