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velardn (으)로 부터 도착한메세지 - English

    • Graffiti is an art form that should be respected and admired.

    • Today it is generally agreed that graffiti is vandalism.
    • But is this really the case?
    • There are those who say that art has lots of different forms and graffiti is a special art.
    • This form of art is becoming more and more popular.
    • As for me, I accept every kind of art.
    • First of all, graffiti is the same expression of feelings and emotions for people.
    • This is contemporary art that has the right to exist.
    • Second, it reflects the problems of the modern world: bad ecology, wars, murders, etc. At the same time, people think that graffiti is only vandalism, defacing public property with useless paintings.
    • Of course, some artists write only indecent words that do not bring any benefit to society.
  • I disagree with this point of view.
    • Many people attach too much importance to impact on youth.
    • These people strongly believe that a gallery is a single place for art.
    • It would be good, if we can have special places for graffiti.
    • Graffiti by talented artists only decorate the city.
  • In conclusion, I would like to emphasize that tastes differ.
    • I hope to see more graffiti in my city.
    • We must find art in all things.

각 문장을 수정해주세요! - English

  • 제목
  • 문장 1
    • Today it is generally agreed that graffiti is vandalism.
      투표하세요!
    • Today it is generally agreed that graffiti is vandalism.

      (note: again, the structure of this sentence is fine, but I challenge your statement. I disagree that graffiti is "generally agreed" to be vandalism. It is viewed as art by some and as vandalism by others.)
      exRangerexRanger profile picture 댓글
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 1
  • 문장 2
  • 문장 3
    • There are those who say that art has lots of different forms and graffiti is a special art.
      투표하세요!
    • There are those who say that art has lots of different forms and graffiti is a special art.

      (note: another perfect sentence.)
      exRangerexRanger profile picture 댓글
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 3
  • 문장 4
  • 문장 5
    • As for me, I accept every kind of art.
      투표하세요!
    • As for me, I acceptppreciate every kind of art.
      nmesomtoChukwunmesomtoChukwu profile picture 댓글
      투표하세요!
    • As for me, I accept every kind of art.

      (note: again, your sentence as you originally constructed it is perfectly acceptable English. You could "spice it up" a bit by changing it to, say, "Speaking for myself, I accept all forms of art." or "......., approve of all forms of art.")
      exRangerexRanger profile picture 댓글
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 5
  • 문장 6
    • First of all, graffiti is the same expression of feelings and emotions for people.
      투표하세요!
    • First of all, graffiti is the sameAh, @ last a correction is called for:¶

      First of all, graffiti is an expression of feeling and emotion for certain people.¶

      OR¶

      First of all, graffiti is an       expression of feelings and emotions for some people.
      exRangerexRanger profile picture 댓글
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 6
  • 문장 7
    • This is contemporary art that has the right to exist.
      투표하세요!
    • ThisGraffiti is contemporary art thaand it has the right to exist.
      nmesomtoChukwunmesomtoChukwu profile picture 댓글
      투표하세요!
    • This is contemporary art that has the right to exist.

      (note: you needn't insert the term "graffiti" as we know well by this point that it is the topic of your mini essay; however I would change the word "this" to "it", ie: ¶

      It is contemporary art that has the right to exist.¶
      OR¶
      It is a form of contemporary art that has the right to exist.
      exRangerexRanger profile picture 댓글
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 7
  • 문장 8
    • Second, it reflects the problems of the modern world: bad ecology, wars, murders, etc. At the same time, people think that graffiti is only vandalism, defacing public property with useless paintings.
      투표하세요!
    • Second, it reflects the problems of the modern world: bad ecology, wars, murders, etc.¶

      At the same timeRegardless, people think that graffiti is only vandalism, defacing public property with useless paintings.
      nmesomtoChukwunmesomtoChukwu profile picture 댓글
      투표하세요!
    • Second, it reflects the problems of the modern world: bad ecologycontemporary world, e.g., environmental deterioration, wars, murdersmed conflicts, high levels of crime, etc.¶

      At the same time, people think that graffiti is only vandalism,       the defacing of public property with useless paintings.
      exRangerexRanger profile picture 댓글
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 8
  • 문장 9
    • Of course, some artists write only indecent words that do not bring any benefit to society.
      투표하세요!
    • Of course, some artists write only indecent words that do not bring any benefit to society.
      nmesomtoChukwunmesomtoChukwu profile picture 댓글
      투표하세요!
    • Of course, some artiststhere are those graffit artists who only write only indecent words thatfrom which society does not brenefit ing any benefit to societobvious way.
      exRangerexRanger profile picture 댓글
      투표하세요!
    • ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9ADD a NEW CORRECTION! - 문장 9
  • 문장 10
  • 문장 11
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  • 문장 17